Of A Feather
by nyxmyx26
Summary: Takes place five years after "Trouble in Tokyo". Each Titan has gone their own way, some more successfully than others. When Starfire goes back to Tamaran what is the former Boy Wonder to do? Slight Batman/Justice League Unlimited crossover but not enough to warrant a tag.
1. With a Little Help from My Friends

**A/N: Because in all my searching I couldn't find a concrete answer to how old the Titans were at the end of the series I have set their ages as: Cyborg (Victor Stone)- 18, Starfire (Koriand'r)- 17, Robin (Richard Grayson)- 16, Raven (Raven Roth)- 16, and Beast Boy (Garfield "Gar" Logan)- 15. If anyone can give me good evidence as to what ages the creators said they were I will happily change them. Also because at the time this story takes place Robin will have made the change to Nightwing I will be refering to him as Richard. Likewise many characters will be called by their "real" names throughout.**

**I of course do not own any of the characters, we know this.**

**xXx**

_Raven watched her two teammates lose themselves to passion amid the lights of Tokyo and felt a hot knife twist through her heart. Though it didn't reach her eyes, the hollow smile on her face kept the pain from Robin's sight. She was an expert at controll and now it was more important than ever lest she ruin something so precious to the one most precious to her..._

**-Five Years Later-**

Richard lifted the soothing cup of black coffee to his lips and wondered again at the road life had laid before him. Never would he have guessed when he accidentally formed the Titans all those years ago that would he be this man he is, sitting across the table from his friends at a Gotham coffee shop. After their adventure in Tokyo, his teammates had slowly gone their own ways. A far cry from the bleak future Starfire had seen, they all still remained friends but had outgrown their Titan roles. Cyborg had been the first to leave. About a year after Japan he had gotten a call up to the majors: the Justice League.

_You guys! The Martian Manhunter saw the work I did to disable Vandal Savage's doomsday device and they want me to become a member! BOOYAH!_

He now spent most of his time on their satellite, up to his electronic elbows in the latest gadgets. Beastboy had left soon after his best friend, first trying out a solo act then joining up with Titans East when Aqualad had left. Last year he had also joined the League and started going by "Changeling".

_Duuuuuude stop calling me "Beast Boy" I'm in the League now! I gotta come up with a better name..._

Seeing her friends leave one by one, Raven had returned to Azarath and Richard hadn't seen her since.

_It's time for all of us to move on Robin, especially me. Besides with Trigon defeated there are new forms of magic I can study on Azarath that were forbidden to me before._

Before he had known, it Richard had found himself alone with Starfire in the Tower and in a budding relationship. At first everything had gone smoothly. They trained a new team of young heroes and eventually handed over the reigns before relocating to Richard's hometown: Gotham. He and Star had gotten an apartment and for two years life was bliss. But then he began to notice a change in his lover from space. Starfire seemed less and less willing to go out on missions, often assuring Richard that he and his old mentor, Batman, had everything under control. She skipped training exercises for cooking classes (originally meant to be _couples_ cooking classes but Richard had put his foot down) and once or twice Richard swore he saw her thumbing through bridal magazines. Stranger still she gave up wearing her uniform altogether and took to dressing in nondescript dresses. Then six months ago everything had come to a screeching halt. The day had started like any other. He had gotten up after a long night helping Batman train his newest protegé, Jason Todd, before joining the pair on patrol. Starfire was in the kitchen preparing something that actually smelled edible. He padded in on bare feet and hugged her from behind.

"Mmmm that looks tasty." His nose was buried in her hair, even all this time later he could still remember how her hair smelled.

"You went out again last night." She whispered shrugging him off. Sensing dangerous territory he pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and sunk into it. Starfire was getting more and more prone to these flares of temper. Last week it had been when he had to cancel their date night because Joker had escaped...again.

"Kori, Bruce needed me. Jason is still in training and Bruce is wearing himself thin trying to protect Gotham on his own and keep up with his League duties. We talked about this." Starfire spun waving a wooden spoon wildly at him.

"No! You did the talking! Speech after speech about duty to Gotham, to Bruce. What happened to not always being heroes?" She signed and muttered to herself in Tamaranean. "I'm tired of this life Richard. We gave so much in years we should have spent being children. I know we did it because it was needed, but now there is no need. The League has unified the heroes and the world has never known such safety. Maybe it's time we start living just as people." Richard ran a hand through his hair. It was getting shaggy.

"If everyone started doing that there would be no League left. We can't be selfish Star, we have gifts and it is our job to protect the people with them. We can't nor will we ever be 'just people', I'm sorry." He saw tears rim her emerald eyes and felt his heart break.

"Then there can be no 'we' Robin. I'm tired of never being put first in your heart. I want a life for us, not just brief moments between missions. There are other people to care for Gotham now; it is not that you _can not_, it is that you _will not_ give this life up." she said sadly, using the one pet name he allowed. "I'm going back to Tamaran." They had fought long into the day, he trying to convince her to stay and she trying to convince him to give up his life as a hero. Neither could be moved. That night she flew back to Tamaran and Richard wandered the empty appartement alone. After a week of waiting for her to come back he could stand it no longer and had moved back into Wayne Manor. Unwilling to see his first disciple spiral into despair, Batman had contacted Cyborg. Richard's old teammate had shown up at the Manor with his usual cure-all: pizza and video games. Slowly Richard told him the whole story.

"Man that's tough. I'm not going to lie though dude, there was nothing you could have done; you both just wanted different things. I love Star but she should have known you well enough to know that this is a part of you she can't change." Weeks passed and Richard slowly made his way back to normal till here he was six months later, sitting across from his two former teammates wondering at the strange turns his life had taken.

"...and then Tara went all 'girl power' and whooped the guys butt." finished Gar with a laugh. Richard, smiled tuning back into his friend's story. He was glad that things were working out between Gar and Tara "Terra" Markov. "Beast Boy" turned "Changeling" had never given up on his former teammate and not so secret love. After much patience on his part she had finally admitted to remembering who she was and the pair had begun to timidly date though she stayed out of the hero life.

"Oh did I mention that Rae is coming back to Earth? Gotham to be precise." Piped up Victor aka "Cyborg" with a sideways glance at Richard. He had been the only member of the team that Raven had stayed in contact with after returning to Azarath. She sent the occasional letter by something Victor referred to as an "interdimentional telegram". Richard raised a dark eyebrow.

"Yea," Victor continued. "remember Argent? Well her real name is Toni not that that's important but anyway a couple of days ago she contacted me at the League and wanted to get a message to Rae. Apparently she's getting a place here in Gotham and wanted to ask Raven to be her roommate because she's, and I quote: 'the only one in the biz I know that doesn't run on sunshine and pixie dust'. So I passed the message on and looks like our girl is coming home! 'Bout time too if you ask me, right Richard?" The former Boy Wonder gave a noncommittal shrug and changed the subject.

"I've been meaning to ask you Victor, how is it that you and Gar are able to look so," he struggled to find the right word. "average?" He gestured towards Victor's seemingly all flesh appearance and Gar's no longer green skin.

"Oh!" exclaimed Gar. "Didn't we tell ya? It's from the League since so many of us aren't able to pass as 'normal' they've been working on ways to camouflage us in case we have to go undercover. 'Course most of us from the 'freaky division' use it to walk around without being stared at on our days off." Victor held up his wrist to show Richard a slim silver band with etched script.

"Some of the supes with magic got together and came up with these. They're simple glamor spells, no muss no fuss. Never has to be recharged. I'm telling you being in the League is awesome." He poured another ten packets of sugar into his coffee and tried another sip. "You know with about fifteen sugars this stuff isn't so bad!" Richard laughed and shook his head. Victor never did out grow his sweet tooth. "But about Rae coming back to Gotham..." Richard gave his friend a glare.

"I know what you're trying to do and I want you to stop. Right now."

"Come on man you two used to dig each other I could tell! What's the harm?" Richard stood up and tossed his cup into a nearby trashcan before storming away from his two best friends.

"Well you blew that one." muttered Gar slurping his soy latte. "Besides I thought you always wanted Richard and Kori to end up together."

"Dude are you blind as well as stupid? The reason I showed support in Tokyo is because lets face it, that little bird boy needed to lighten up. Starfire was good at getting him to do that, but I never thought it would last." He stared off into the distance. "No, Raven gets him and he gets her being the only one to get even slightly under that four-foot thick emotional armor of hers. They danced around each other when we were a team because she didn't want to let him in and hurt him and he didn't want to push and hurt her. So he went after Star and Rae retreated ever inward. Tragic really." The two friends sighed in unison and stood up to dispose of their drinks.

"I better head out Beast Boy I promised Rae I'd help her move in all the stuff I've been holding onto for her. Hard to believe she's been gone almost four years."

"Dude! I've told you a million times, it's _'Changeling'_! I'm not a boy ok I'm a man." Gar struck a silly macho pose. "Let me know if you guys need any help alright?" Victor nodded.

"Will do." he replied patting his friend on the back. "Oh and Gar? 'Boy' or not you'll always be my little grass stain buddy."

Across town a small beam of light appeared on the roof of a apartment complex and a slim woman stepped out. Holding an ancient book to her chest she took a deep breath and flicked a strand of lavender hair from her face.

"Home again jiggaty jig."

**A/N: All reviews are welcome, I'm open to constructive imput!**


	2. All the Time That You Were Gone

**A/N: My thanks to all who reviewed last chapter and helped make some changes! Teen Titans have wonderful fans and I love the feedback you guys gave. Edits were made to chapter one so you may want to skip back and check them out before continuing with this chapter. Enjoy!**

**xXx**

_"Home again, jiggaty jig."_

"Careful my girl that smacks strongly of sarcasm." Raven turned to face her soon to be roommate: Argent. Her hair had gotten more wild Raven noticed. She quickly struggled to stifled an inward laugh as Pink!Raven whispered that Argent looked like a cockatoo.

"It's nice to see you too Toni." She noticed the goth girl giving her the once over.

"Ya hair's longer and since when do you wear anything but leotards?" Raven tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear and nervously smoothed the front of her floor length robe.

"I didn't spend a lot of time in front of mirrors the past four years and what I was wearing was hardly a topic for much concern." She gave a shrug. "Never really thought about it till now." Argent cocked her hip and rested her hand on her own very fashionably clad form.

"Plenty of time to fix that later I suppose, I may not be a gun ho make-over girl like Kori but even I can see you need help. Anyway let's go inside and I'll give you the nickle tour of our place." She wrenched the door for the roof access open and ushered Raven in. "That all you brought?" She tapped the dusty cover of Raven's book. Raven just nodded, seeming lost in her own thoughts. "Meh, no matter Vic brought over all your things from storage; he, Gar and Rich have been setting up your room while we waited for you." She bounced from stair to stair seemingly to an inner rhythm. "This is us." She jerked her thumb at a rather grim looking door.

"We're on the top floor?" Raven said, peering over the railing. There were a lot of stairs to the bottom.

"Yea, sort of a good news/bad news deal." replied Argent, swinging the door open. "Good news: no upstairs neighbors. Bad news: there's no elevator and both of us are used to flying. Come on in. Oi! Boys, Raven is here!" Raven heard a frantic scrabble erupt from inside the apartment and braced herself for the fast approaching tackle. Sure enough, both Cyborg and Changeling came barreling towards her and crushed her ribs in a group hug.

"Hey guys." She managed to squeak out.

"Dude! Raven are you wearing a dress? And your hair is all long and stuff. You look like a girl!" Changeling rattled out, his words running together in his excitement.

"It's great to have you home Rae! You gotta let me show you all the cool stuff the League has me working on." Cyborg added, his voice competing with Changeling's to be the loudest in the room. But oddly enough, it was the voice barely above a whisper that rang the loudest in Raven's head.

"Welcome home Raven." called Nightwing from the kitchen doorway. Raven could feel various emoticlones beginning to rear their heads and quickly squelched them. Unable to speak she simply nodded in his direction. As if catching on to the sudden tension in the room, Argent quickly linked her arm with Raven's and pulled her away from the boys.

"So the apartment. Kitchen there, living room through there, we have to share a bathroom but whatever. My room and of course, your room." Raven took a few steps into the new room and had to smile. Cyborg truly had saved everything. Raven was amazed at her friend's effort to recreate her room at Titans Tower, even painting the walls the same colour.

"I wanted you to feel like you were coming home Rae." he called, leaning against the door frame. "When you left and didn't take any of this with you I kept it so that you would know we never forgot about you. We're a family no matter how much time passes." Argent popped her head around the broad half-robot.

"That's very nice and all but I gotta get in a quick word with my new roomie." She had drumsticks tucked into the top of her left boot. "I only got two things, a rule and a warning. Rule: on nights that Argent has band practices no loud noises from three a.m to 1 p.m the next day because when I don't have enough sleep I get this twitch that makes me kinda stabby. Warning: case you need to do any laundry, the machines are by the kitchen and you gotta put something heavy on the washer or it won't run. Caio." Her red and black tufted hair vanished from sight. Raven let out a long sigh and plopped herself down on the bed.

"Victor I appreciate everything you did really, but why is Richard here and without Kori? Gar I don't mind but we talked about this before I came back, no meddling." Cyborg crossed his arms and stared his friend down.

"I'm not meddling Rae, you two are going to have to address this elephant in the room sooner or later. I didn't work this hard to get you home so that you and he could avoid each other. That's not meddling, that's concern." He sat down on the bed next to her. "As for Kori, she couldn't make it." Raven looked up at her friend with quizzical eyes, but he ruffled her hair and continued on. "Now come out to the living room. We ordered pizza and when is the last time you had a slice?" Raven held her hands up in mock surrender.

"Alright, alright. Let me just find something to change into. I feel a little silly wearing this after Gar made such a big deal out of it." Cyborg gestured towards the small closet.

"There should be some of your old uniforms in there." He turned back one last time before leaving the room. "Oh and Rae, don't mention Kori in front of Richard. I'll explain everything later."

**xXx**

Nightwing paced in the kitchen trying his hardest not to panic. No, panic wasn't the right word. He was awash in so many emotions at seeing her face again that "panic" simply wasn't the whole story. He was elated, but furious, his heart kept leaping from his stomach to his throat and was skipping beats. He wanted to run away or punch a wall, yet couldn't quit pacing long enough to make up his mind. For four years she had lurked there in the back of his mind, the nagging ache of a path not taken. Like a punch to the gut, every single half thought wish and subconscious prayer he ever had about her came rushing back. Nightwing had fought the worst criminals in the most challenging scenarios and yet when faced with his fellow Titan he had no clue what to do. Then he heard Raven's door click shut and Cyborg come walking out. With a snarl he grabbed the larger man and pinned him to the wall.

"The hell is this Victor!" he hissed. "You lied to me! When you called me to come over you said she wouldn't be here for hours, and yet there she is. You said that you needed help and yet I get here to find most of the work done. What are you up to?" Cyborg stood up, grabbing the front of his former leader's shirt and hoisting him into the air.

"Look bird boy, Raven is our friend, our _team mate_ and I will not let you tip toe around her like she has the plague, no matter what your hang ups are. You are going to take your personal drama, swallow it, and smile when she comes out that door. I don't care if you are all grown up and wearing your big boy Nightwing tights, you do anything but make Rae feel welcome and I will end you man. She is finally home and dude you aren't ruining that." He released his grip letting Nightwing drop to the floor.

"Yo guys can you bring me out another slice of pizza from the kitchen?" called Changeling. "Toni's got the latest Mega Monkeys and I am totally in the zone!"

**xXX**

Raven slipped one of her old leotards on and adjusted it in the mirror. _This is looser than I remember. And when did my face get to thin?_ She ran her fingers over her ribs counting them easily. _I guess I forgot to eat more times then I realized._ Making the best she could of her too big uniform she phased through the wall into the living room.

"Hey you found your old uniforms!" called Changeling, switching off the game in a rare show of selflessness. "Which is good, because that white robe thing was weirding me out." Raven adjusted the hood of her cloak to shield her eyes. All this special attention was getting to be too much.

"Man none of that." scolded Cyborg as he pushed the hood from her face and handed her a full plate of pizza. "You don't get to leave for four years and then hide your face. Come on and tell us all about Azarath." Raven sighed but let Cyborg have his way. Tearing off a bite of pizza she chewed slowly and gathered her thoughts before sitting cross-legged on the floor. _God it's good to have pizza again._

"Well like I told you when I left, I went back to Azarath to continue my training. After we defeated Trigon, I no longer had to constantly keep that part of myself in check and could begin studying certain magics that were forbidden to me before. After you and BB, sorry _Changeling_, left it just seemed like the right time." She paused to scarf down the rest of her first slice and started on the second.

"God Rae when is the last time you ate?" exclaimed Changeling as he stared at her devouring her food. Raven gave a shrug and levitated the pizza box from the kitchen to sit by her on the floor.

"My lessons got intense sometimes and everything else got put on the back burner. Like I told Toni that's how my hair got so long; I would forget about things sometimes. Eating being one of them."

"I thought you looked thin." whispered Nightwing from the far end of the couch. Raven felt Gray!Raven flash in her mind's eye and tucked her cloak more firmly around herself.

"What could be so important that you couldn't eat?" raged Cyborg. Raven had seen him at enough buffets in their Titan times to know that meal skipping was a sin in his eyes.

"The things I was learning were fascinating Cy," she chuckled. "For years my powers had been about containment, constant control. For the first time I had the chance to expand my magic. When I was the gem the monks were concerned that if I gained too much power I could become dangerous. But now I can tap into my emotions rather than cage them and do so much more." She decided to leave out for now the part about seeing her emoticlones all the time, instead of just when she meditated. "Like this, watch!" She waved her hand and levitated Changeling's camouflage band from his wrist. Surrounding it with her black aura for a few minutes, she pulled something that looked like a small star from the band's engravings and touched it to the red diamond on her forehead. Silver light flashed and then absorbed. Touching the crystal, Raven changed her hair from violet to green, green to white, white to red, and then back to violet again.

"THAT IS SO COOL!" shouted Changeling, punching the air as Raven magiced the band back onto his wrist.

"You recreated the spell just like that?" exclaimed Nightwing. Raven was beaming from ear to ear and he couldn't remember seeing her so happy.

"Only a part of it, but that's what the monks were teaching me. There's a way to look into a spell and see the magic that makes it. With the right pull or twist I can change it or copy it. For years I wanted to study this magic just like everyone else on my world." She paused, sadness briefly filling her eyes. "To be just like everyone else on my world." she whispered before shaking off the momentary melancholy and smiling again. "I'm still learning but it's wonderful."

"So why leave?" Nightwing's comment wiped the grin from Raven's face and Cyborg could have hit him.

"When I returned to Azarath everyone of course knew about Trigon's downfall and the part I played in it. After so many years there and being the former Azar's favourite, my mother had become something of royalty. In the people's eyes this made me a sort of princess." She caught Changeling's shocked expression out of the corner of her eye and added. "If you tilt your head and squint. Well at first I was able to use my studies as an excuse to avoid the duties they had for me, but they began to be more insistent. Soon I was being dragged away from my studies, forced into parties and some sort of charm school. They were grooming me so I could one day assume the role they wanted me to fill."

"What role Rae?" asked Cyborg.

"They wanted me to become the next Azar, the ruler of our world." She sighed and pushed the empty pizza box away from her. "I turned them down and decided to return to Earth. I never wanted to be anyone's leader or queen and I'm not cut out for high society. So I sent Victor a letter about returning home and he told me about Toni's offer. Thus here I am." Changeling smiled and stretched out to put his feet on the coffee table.

"So what's your plan? Get back to kicking bad guy butt with us? Cy and I can talk to the League if you want." Raven shook her head.

"Actually one of the big reasons I agreed to live with Toni is because I like her idea. She's taking a break from the life and using the time to take some classes and live a little. I'm not going to do something extreme, like joining a band, but I think I would like to go to college and, as I told Victor, get a job. It may be mundane but to quote Toni: 'we aren't going to be heroes forever'. Personally, I'd like to have something else to my name when that comes. I'll get back to the life eventually but I think a break could be healthy. I don't want 'Superhero' to be my only identity. "

"Well I like it." stated Cyborg as he stood and ruffled her hair once more. "Anything to keep you home. As for the job thing we'll all keep our ears open but in the mean time let me know if you need any help." He snatched Changeling from the couch before he could turn the video game back on. "It's late so we'll let you get some sleep. Night Rae, keep in touch."

"But dude Mega Monkeys! MEGA MONKEYS!" Changeling squawked as Cyborg dragged him from the room.

"Welcome home Raven." Nightwing said softy, lightly touching her shoulder before following Changeling and Cyborg out the door.

"See man that wasn't so bad!" Cyborg cried, slapping Nightwing on the back as the door closed. "I mean you were a little quiet and sullen, but that's so normal for you I doubt she even noticed." _I may have been quiet, but you couldn't hear the vocal war going on inside my head._ Nightwing thought, giving one last backwards glance.

On the other side of the apartment door Raven's shoulder burned like fire.

**A/N: So I changed my writing style a bit, hopefully for the better. Still trying to find my rhythm with this one so keep those reviews coming.**


	3. Stutter

**A/N: For those of you playing along at home, here's a fun Easter egg. The title of each chapter is either a lyric or title from the song I was listening to while I wrote it. Ment to mention that earlier...**

**xXx**

Cyborg phoned the next day with the story of Starfire's absence.

"...and then she packed up and left. None of us have heard from her since. It hit Rich really hard." A part of Raven's heart broke for Nightwing. She knew only part of the loss he felt but could still imagine the pain. While her feelings had never been returned, a self same pain had nearly destroyed her once. Sensing her discomfort, Cyborg quickly changed the subject.

"So Bumble Bee called me today..."

**xXx**

The days passed and Raven found herself falling into a rather pleasant pattern. Having successfully enrolled at Gotham University under the alias "Rachel Roth", she attended classes with a strange enthusiasm and even enjoyed her late study nights in the library. She had even been lucky when it came to finding employment. Three days after she had come back to Earth, Gar called her with a job offer.

"Hey Rae I think I might have found you the perfect place. Zantanna and I just stopped this witch baddie named Circe from stealing a scroll at a mystical book shop. The owner is a gnome or something from another dimension but said he could use some part time help!" So Raven had gone to the interview and met the gruff owner. He seemed pleased that she had an understanding and respect for magic and often let her read some of his books when the shop wasn't busy. All in all Raven had to admit life was going unexpectedly well, that is except for one small annoyance.

It really shouldn't have been a big deal and Raven had to admit, compared to the other things she had faced during her Titan years, it was rather ludicrous that it should bother her this much. However, she was nothing if not private, and this violated that privacy so drastically. Upon choosing her classes, an adviser from the school had informed her of a rather irritating rule for first years: she must take a physical education class. Apparently some years ago the Gotham University had instituted this policy with student health in mind and while Raven knew their intent to be noble, she still had half a mind to kill the first person to make her break a sweat. Luckily she had found a loop hole. The adviser told her about a beginner's dance class held by a Professor with a very lax grading method, everything was a simple participation grade. Elated that no one would be making her run laps or chase a ball, Raven had signed up without another thought. Then the other shoe had dropped. A week into the class Professor Muntchin announced their midterm: a recital. Participation was mandatory and, added Muntchin:

"Extra credit will be given to those whom I assign lead roles. There are spots for two soloists and one duet, audition times will be posted this weekend for you to sign up. Also each student will be given four tickets for friends or family and I strongly suggest you use them. After all," said the small woman, beaming. "We want every seat to have a bottom in it!" With that Raven's privacy had been shattered. She was going to be forced into parading around before a crowd. So much for an easy class. After Muntchin's announcement Raven was approached by one of the few males in the class: Duncan Clancy.

"It's 'Rachel', right?" He asked, hovering as she gathered her books. She flicked hair out of her face and wished he would go away. Duncan always struck her as good-natured but slightly simple. Most students had learned to leave her alone by this point but she had noticed his eyes following her during Muntchin's lessons and he had even made a few feeble attempts to befriend her.

"That's me." Duncan trotted behind her like a eager puppy as she started to walk away, reminding her slightly of Changeling. Apparently he wouldn't be that easy to get rid of.

"Well I was thinking about what Muntchin said, extra credit going to the leads and that there was a spot for a duet and well I could really use the points..." Raven twirled to face the rambling, red-haired, boy. She had had enough of his irritating chatter.

"Your point, Duncan?" she snapped, glaring up at him.

"Oh!" he said with surprise, blue eyes shining. "You know my name! My point was that I've seen you dance and I think my best chance of getting a part is if I paired up with you. You've got this natural skill that would help me impress Muntchin." He stepped in front of her and blocked the door to her next class. Raven almost felt a glimmer of humor at his brazenness. Almost.

"Sorry but no. I have no reason to pair up nor try out for a lead role. My grade is perfect and I have no wish to be on display. I'll be fine twirling around in the background thank you." Turning on her heel, she began to march away to the other access door. Duncan called after her.

"But your calculus grade isn't." Raven froze. While it was true that Professor Scott's class was a dark smudge on her otherwise perfect grades, she was baffled by how Duncan could possibly know.

"How do you know that?" Duncan's normally innocent face split into a sinister smile and his usually carefree eyes narrowed. _Maybe_, thought Raven, _he isn't the simpleton I thought. He looks like a shark that's scented blood._

"I never enter into a bargain with out knowing who I'm dealing with first Ms. Roth." he said sweetly. "Nor do I fail to get what I want. I'm taking that class myself and, if I do say so, have impressive scores. I would be happy to tutor you for the entire semester for the reasonable price of you being my dance partner." Raven chewed her lip thoughtfully. Monetary wise he was right, that was reasonable. Most other tutors she had looked into either charged more than she could pay or were little better than herself; however, the cost to her pride was high. Nearby, students came flooding out of the building, she was going to be late for her next class.

"This is a one time offer Rachel, I won't make it again." he prompted, crossing his arms. Throwing her hand up in surrender Raven spat her answer at the boy.

"Fine, I'll do it!" Instantly Duncan's face returned to that of a good-natured idiot. Raven spared a half thought to wonder which was the real him.

"Wonderful! Here's my number." he handed her a slip of paper. Raven realised that by having it at the ready he had always expected her agreement. She felt the impulse to hit him. "I'll sign us up and you can call later for the details." With that he scampered off.

Thus Raven found herself stumbling through the following week in a constant state of irritation. Between Duncan always asking questions about her life and the annoyingly personal way he invaded her space during their dance practices, she felt like screaming. She hated the way he never got ruffled no matter what insults she threw at him and the way her, to quote Changeling, "weirdness" didn't seem to discourage him. Rather, to her chagrin, he seemed almost amused by her quirks, as if determined to befriend her at all cost. She hated many things about this boy that had forced his way into her life, but mostly she hated the way she was slowly starting to like the fact that he was there. Raven had first realized it when they had taken a break to devour a pizza one study night at her apartment. It was the night before their recital and between mouthfuls she asked him why he always acted the fool when he was anything but.

"I guess its because somewhere along the lines I realized that no one watched the fool that closely, you know? If people think you're stupid they'll dismiss you until they wake up one day to see that you've bested them." He paused to offer her another slice. "I think that's also why I decided to adopt you as a friend. I've gotten so used to never being noticed that I notice everyone else. Even quiet girls that glare at goofy boys." Raven laughed, her voice filling the small living room.

"And then you "adopt" them whether they like it or not?" Duncan chuckled and shrugged.

"I guess you could say that."

That night Raven laid in bed and replayed the conversation in her mind. Purple!Raven whispered thoughts into her ear and showed her memories of their dance practices. The memory of the way his hand rested on her waist made her cheeks flush in the darkness. Yellow!Raven interrupted and sagely cautioned that she had no time for love and had come back to Earth for better reasons. Gray!Raven agreed, adding that it would probably end badly anyway. With a sigh, Raven pushed her emoticlones from her mind and turned over to sleep. _Just worry about getting through the recital tomorrow Raven and nothing else._

Nearby a sliver of moonlight illuminated the four untouched tickets given to her by Muntchin. She had been too embarrassed to invite her friends.

**A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short! I'll try to make the next one a bit longer. For a reference as to which emoticlone is which you can check out the Titan's wiki. As always your reviews are welcome!**


	4. See You Smile

**A/N: My everlasting thanks to my new Beta reader Xaphrin. Please go check out her amazing stuff guys!**

**xXx**

Cyborg rubbed his temples, whether to keep from crying or screaming he wasn't quite sure. He leaned against the auditorium door and stared at Argent. Taking a deep breath he began slowly. "So, let me run through this one more time, just to be sure I'm understanding this right. A quote 'strange boy' has been visiting Raven at your apartment." He ticked off the facts on his fingers. "You noticed her humming to herself while dancing when she thought you weren't looking. So, you decide to go into her room while she was away to get some answers. While in her room, you find her class schedule and the tickets to the dance recital, put two and two together, steal them, and hope that she doesn't notice. Have I got everything so far?"

Argent nodded, looking entirely too pleased with herself.

"Okay, you then called to invite all of us to the show with the lie that Raven had asked you to, and drag us all here in your hellishly small car. Once getting us here, you tell us the truth but only after the show has already started and we were sitting in the third row with no way to escape. Also, now that it is finally intermission we can't even leave because: a, you have the keys, and b, because Raven already saw that we're here so there's no point in trying to escape because we are dead men walking. Does that just about cover _everything_?" Cyborg finished, wildly waving his arms.

Argent grinned and took another swig of soda, drumming her fingers on the concession stand counter."Fantastic idea, right? She was so good in the first half and that wasn't even in a lead role. I can't wait to see her duet. It's gonna be killer."

Cyborg felt his still human eye twitch underneath his glamoured skin things were short circuiting.

"YES IT IS KILLER! BECAUSE WE ARE NOW ALL DEAD MEN! WHAT PART OF THIS IS ESCAPING YOU?! THERE IS NO 'FANTASTIC' JUST PAIN LOTS OF PAIN!" He grasped the neck of his shirt, tugging at the collar as if it was a noose. "You broke into Raven's room, which I cannot even begin to tell you how big a no-no that is, and if that wasn't bad enough YOU MADE US ALL ACCOMPLICES! This is obviously something she didn't want us to know about and you have just gone and told the whole damn world. Have you learned NOTHING from living with her?"

In a nearby corner Changeling had assumed a seated fetal position and stared ahead with eyes full of terror. "We're doomed, dude. DOOMED!"

Argent rolled her eyes.

"Oh, come on you guys are acting like Raven is some unholy terror. She's just a little shy and needed help coming out of her shell. I'm sure at the end of this she'll actually be happy that we showed her our support. Even if she's not, there's no reason to act like such babies." She waved them off. "She'll get over it. I mean you don't see Richard and me freaking out."

Nightwing looked at the slim New Zealander with utter disbelief. "For one thing," he said glaring at her, "don't assume that because I'm not shouting and flailing about that I'm not just as terrified as Victor and Gar. For another, Raven is a half-demon which by definition pretty much does make her an 'unholy terror'. Thirdly, you're not freaking out because you have no idea just how much wrath we have coming our way." Nightwing's glare glazed over momentarily with inward terror. He had seen hell, and it wore leotards. "You've never seen Raven furious. We all have before, and let me tell you, your worst nightmares don't compare with what she has in store for us. So, yeah I'm freaking out and you should be too."

The group fell silent as the lights dimmed announcing the end of intermission. Cyborg sighed and picked up Changeling by the scruff of his neck. "Time to face the music."

Changeling began to hysterically struggle as Cyborg dragged him along. "The end is nigh, man! NIGH! Raven is going to pull a full Mumbo and turn me into a LAMP!"

Behind them, Nightwing shook his head and saw with some satisfaction that a look of realization was beginning to dawn on Argent's face. Raven was going to make them all pay dearly but there was no stopping it now. The only thing to do is to grin and bear it.

He let out a slow breath. "Well, here we go."

**xXx**

When Raven spotted her four friends in the third row as the curtain opened for the first act, she nearly stormed off then and there. Struggling to keep up with the rest of the chorus as her mind ran through hundreds of scenarios, the edges of her vision tinged red with fury. She flew through a million stages of confusion and anger. How could they have found out about the recital? Where did they get the tickets? Who told them? How _dare_ they even think about coming? Would they laugh?

Maybe it was a misunderstanding and they hadn't noticed her… this thought was short lived. Cyborg, Changeling, and Argent seemed to arguing in hushed whispers, oblivious to her angry glare, while Nightwing's eyes found hers and never left. Through the entire three dances that made up the first act his gaze lingered on her face with an expression she couldn't read.

Again: how _dare _they?

Nearly consumed by rage as the curtain fell for intermission, she stumbled from the stage. _This is petty and stupid_, she told herself, trying to calm down._ You have fought and risked your life with these people and you're scared of them judging you over a stupid school show? Get a grip. _

_Yes_, Gray!Raven answered back, _but we've never been this exposed to them before. It's like the monks on Azarath said, 'to dance is to paint with your emotion'._

"Oh, shut up," she hissed under her breath and threw Gray!Raven down a mental black hole.

Duncan caught her wrist before she could storm out the door and escape. "Rachel, what happened? You were all over the place."

Raven smacked his hand away and began to pace, right now she couldn't deal with the emotions his aura wore like a neon sign. Not his and certainly not hers. She closed off her mind. "It's nothing."

Duncan softly took both her hands in his, holding her firmly in place and Raven briefly wondered at how small her fingers felt when held by his. "This isn't nothing. You took one look at the audience and your whole demeanor changed. You may think yourself pretty mysterious Ms. Roth…" He smiled and tilted her face upwards. "But you forget I've seen you dance these past few weeks. I can read you like a book."

Raven quickly pushed her duet partner away before he could see her blush.

"First off, no one can 'read me like a book' no matter how great you may think yourself to be. Secondly, stop touching me. And, thirdly, I'll be _fine_. I just didn't expect my friends to be here. While I'm ok -not thrilled of course- but _ok_ to dance in front of strangers, knowing I have to go back out there in front of them..." She shook her head.

"You're embarrassed," he finished for her. Peeking out from behind the curtain, he searched the faces of the audience as they returned to their seats. "Which ones are they?" Raven pointed the four out as they retook their seats, still arguing between themselves. "Ah, come on, they don't look so bad. Although that one guy with the black hair looks like he's had a lemon shoved someplace unpleasant."

Raven snorted, unable to keep the smirk off her lips. "That's Richard, and he always looks like that, very solemn. When we were kids it was the perfect complement to my 'gloomy'."

"I've never thought of you as gloomy, wickedly sarcastic maybe, but never gloomy." He looked back out into the crowd. "I must say I'm disappointed. To hear you talk about these friends of yours and your fear of them, I was expecting some sort of monsters. I got to say it's kind of a let down to see that they're so _normal_."

Duncan leaned down and gently brushed his lips against her cheek. The kiss shocked Raven, it made her body hum and her face burn. But, before she could gather her wits and scold Duncan, the pair saw Professor Muntchin waving for them to take their places.

"Chin up," he whispered, playfully nudging her. "You'll be fine and your friends will love it. It'll be over before you know it so just hold together for a little longer. I'd hate for you to break down before you can show the world your genius."

Raven scoffed and elbowed him in the ribs. "And I'd hate for me to have to trip you while we're on stage and break your neck," she muttered back.

"Don't worry, I've gotten quite adept at missing your shin attacks." Positioned center-stage, Duncan held out his hand with a smile that, for a moment, made Raven forget what waited on the other side of the curtain. "Come on, it's now or never."

As the curtain rose, Raven defiantly straightened her spine and took Duncan's hand.

"Here we go."

**xXx**

Nightwing watched Raven soar across the stage, never once seeming to touch the floor. He had been blown away at seeing her dance in the first act, but this was completely different. He couldn't remember ever seeing her look so free. The unbridled joy on her face made his heart skip beats and he couldn't tear his eyes away. But, the thing that stopped his heart all together, was the man she was dancing with.

He recognized him as having been in the chorus with Raven, though Nightwing had hardly spared him a glance. But now Nightwing could see the way Raven was looking at him and the way he was looking at her. It made him want to jump on that stage, stop the dance, and tear the two of them apart. The dance might have been beautiful, but it was killing him.

_That should be me she's smiling for_, a part of him whispered.

As the song went on and the pair became more passionate in their movements, Nightwing could feel his anger rising. All those years that Raven had kept her heart locked away from him, never letting him in, how could she show it so easily to this stranger! It wasn't fair. For years he respected her boundaries, always protecting her and yet he was the one on the side lines while she held another man's hand. Just when he thought he could take no more, the music finally faded away. Nightwing watched Raven bow and leave the stage, still holding the red-haired man's hand.

_That should be me._

**xXx**

"You two were fantastic! I mean, your audition was wonderful but this was a whole other level. Such _passion_. I cannot believe that I would find such talent in my beginner's class!" Professor Muntchin cooed, hugging both Duncan and Raven in turn.

The entire class had gathered outside the auditorium doors after the show's end to talk and laugh with each other and the audience. Cyborg, Changeling, Argent and Nightwing looked on as Muntchin sang the pair's praises. "Rachel dear, I do wish you'd let me put you in one of my advanced classes. Talent like yours should be nurtured. You were splendid too Duncan, I had no idea you had such enthusiasm. Your participation in my class has always been so lack luster."

Duncan smiled and gave Raven a little nudge. "I guess I just needed the right partner."

Nightwing interrupted the banter, eager to get Raven away from this man who looked at his former team mate with such gleaming eyes. "Rachel, Toni told us about a great place down town for us to go and celebrate. Why don't we head there for some drinks?"

"Yes," added Argent. "It's a great club that I've done a gig or two at, and since I now know you can dance..." she trailed off giving Raven an evil grin. "Oh, and you should come too, Duncan was it?"

Nightwing felt a vein in his temple throb. He could kill Argent.

"I'd love to, if you're sure that it would be ok," Duncan replied locking eyes with Nightwing.

Cyborg caught the exchange and piped up. "Yeah, man it's no problem. Oh wait," he said dramatically smacking his forehead and glaring at Argent. "We all road here in Toni's clown car. I don't think we can fit any more people unless we defy the laws of physics."

Duncan waved his hand dismissively. "Oh, that's no problem. I rode my bike here. Just tell me where the club is and Raven can ride with me. That way we don't have to unravel the fabric of life itself _and_ everyone can go." His defiant gaze never wavered from Nightwing, though a Cheshire grin split his face. Nightwing's hand instinctively twitched to where his bo staff normally rested. There were at least several dozen ways he could kill this man with his bare hands. In that moment he relished imagining each one.

"Perfect!" Argent cried taking Cyborg and Changeling's arms and ushering them out the door. "The club's name is Silidons on First Street. We'll meet you there. Are you coming, Rich?"

"Yeah." Nightwing gave Duncan one last glare before following his three friends. "Right behind you." He called over his shoulder. _Correction,_ he thought to himself,_ I_ am _going to kill Argent._

**xXx**

**A/N: I'll be traveling back to the States tomorrow and am not sure about my internet situation just yet so it may be a while till next chapter. Sorry :( But I promise to keep writing 'net or no 'net so I can spam you guys with love the moment I get it back.**


	5. Is That Your Hand?

**A/N: It's been too long hasn't it duckies? Hopefully this chapter was worth the wait and the next one is out in better time. My thanks to the genius that it Xaphrin for all her help. Enjoy!**

**xXx**

Raven walked through the darkened door of Silidons and instantly recoiled. The club was packed wall to wall with people, their bodies humming to the sound of repetitive bass. It was tribal, it was trendy, and it made her skin crawl.

She remembered the last time the team had all gone to the club, back when Blackfire had used them to evade an interstellar police force. That time Raven had avoided much of the chaos that was social interaction by finding a nice dark corner in which to retreat. Of course, it also had helped that there had been nice dark goth boy in that corner, who shared her life views of entropy and general pointlessness, but she highly doubted she would get so lucky twice. With the way her friends were acting tonight there would be no goth boys and certainly no corners allowed.

Scanning the room she spotted Argent waving excitedly from a table against the wall. At least they had done her that small favour, rather than expecting her to remain on display and, she inwardly shuddered, "mingle" with the crowd. Weaving through the mob with as little contact as possible, Raven finally managed to join Cyborg, Changeling, Nightwing, and Argent.

"So, where's your hot ginger friend?" Argent teased, gulping from what was almost certainly not her first drink tonight. Raven slid into the seat beside Cyborg and marveled at Argent's alcohol dedication. She and Duncan couldn't have arrived any later than ten minutes behind the rest of the Titans, but she was already partying like a champ. "Also I ordered you something," Argent added, sliding a sinister looking concoction in front of Raven. It was lime green, glowed in the colorful strobe lights, and fizzed slightly. "None of the others knew your poison preference so I went a little wild. Henry, the bartender, lets me get a little… _creative_, mostly because my mad scientist approach amuses him. If you don't like it we'll get you something else."

Was there intelligent life evolving in the radioactive depths, or was it simply a trick of the light? Raven warily nudged the drink away, deciding to play it safe less she ingest a sentient being. "It's hard to have a 'preferred poison' when one doesn't drink Argent. As for Duncan, he's parking his bike."

Argent pouted and tried to push the glass back into her hands. "Oh, come on. One sip won't kill you. I have seen a whole new side of you after seeing you dance with Mr. Rhythm Hips, don't ruin my new, good judgment by being such a prat. We came here to have drinks and celebrate, and that means _all_ of us, including you." She nudged Cyborg in the ribs. "Well, except for Gadget Ass over here. Said something about alcohol corroding his wires so I let him off the hook."

Nightwing noticed Raven's eye beginning to twitch and intervened. Grabbing the concoction from the middle of Argent and Raven's tug of war, he threw it back in one swig and upturned the glass on the table, like a trophy. Nightwing then thumped his chest and wheezed slightly, trying to restart his heart. Oh, that had _burned_.

"There." He looked Argent in the eyes. "The drink's gone and Raven stays sober, now everyone's happy." He opened and closed his mouth a few times, feeling like he could taste sounds. Surprisingly, he noted through a cloud of confused senses, club music coated his tongue like jalapeno pop rocks. "Toni, don't you dare order her anything else, I don't think I could handle another of your brain children." The taste suddenly changed. His mouth now filled with how he imagined liquid kryptonite would taste. Also were his eyes on fire? He felt like they were on fire. "The hell did you put in there anyway?"

"Oh you know... eye of newt, few drops of anti-freeze, arsenic, nothing special." Toni grinned at him.

"Thought I tasted almonds." Nightwing dramatically grimaced and made a big show of rinsing out his mouth with his own sensible whiskey. All four of the former Titans stared at him with wide eyes.

"Dude, how did you do that?" Changeling clutched his Long Island as if he suspected Argent might at any moment snatch it away and add something dreadful. "I only got a whiff of that monster and it made me queasy."

"Gar, think about who my mentor is. Do honestly think that Bruce let me escape my 21st standing up? Though I do have to say, that thing Toni made might just kick my ass." Nightwing suddenly laughed with much less restraint then his friends had ever seen. Maybe that potion was getting to him.

Changeling grimaced. "Well, good luck, dude, you look close to my shade of green. Don't die."

Raven observed her former leader out of the corner of her eye, pretending not to notice the change in his demeanor. He reclined in his chair, in a stark contrast to his normally military-like posture. Nightwing was normally like a highly pressured coil, always ready to spring. Yet there he sat, his whole body relaxed, something she had only seen once before. _Silhouette in the door way, soothing heartbeats next to her ear, serene profile in moonlight… _She slammed the door on the memory before it could go any further, now was not the time.

"But, enough about my barroom trick," Nightwing continued, turning his eyes on her. "Rae, tell us where you learned to dance like that before Duncan gets here." _Gets here and ruins everything_, he thought.

Nightwing was _definitely_ feeling the effects of Argent's drink, Raven noted, he never called her 'Rae'. "Before Trigon and Azarath my mother loved to dance." Raven began, doodling invisible shapes on the table top and avoiding eye contact. "When I was a child it was one of the few things we would do together. She loved me in her own way, I never doubted that, but it was hard for her to be around me when I was so marked by Trigon's heritage. Dancing without care around her chambers was one the rare times that I think she could see herself in me. But then as I got older it became too dangerous. My emotions ran wild when I danced and I would end up weaving magic without meaning to, sometimes hurting others but often hurting myself."

The previous carefree nature of the room turned to lead and everyone shifted uncomfortably in their chairs. That was a heavy topic for what was supposed to be a happy occasion. Cyborg gave her a one armed hug, his glamoured skin still cool despite its flesh like appearance.

"Eventually I was forbidden by the Monks to continue." She softly smiled, breaking the tension again. Her eyes brightened and she laughed. "But do you know the first thing I did when I returned? I danced with my mother in the sky, daring anyone to stop me."

The defiant look in her eyes made Nightwing grip his glass tighter. His fingers itched to brush away a strand of hair that had fallen in her face. He had never wanted to kiss her so badly as he did then. Seeing her look so headstrong and so limitless, while she told her story made him suddenly hunger for her.

"Well, I have to say I'm blown away Rae," Cyborg said. "You were awesome on that stage tonight."

"You haven't seen anything yet." Duncan appeared at Raven's side looking like a cat with a canary. He looked around the group with devilish eyes. "What are you all doing sitting here? It's like some kind of sad little pow-wow. I thought we came to celebrate."

He grabbed Raven's hand and before anyone could react, and dragged her onto the dance floor, drowning them both in lights and music. "Let's give them something to talk about." Duncan whispered into her ear.

Raven untangled his frame from hers and retreated, longing for a cloak hood to shield her from view. She felt all together over-exposed.

"Duncan, enough. On the stage tonight, that was one thing, but I'm just not the sort who dances with some guy in a club. There're so many people, and my friends..." She started to drift back to the table, and her sanctuary.

Duncan's arms circled her waist from behind, halting her retreat. His breath was hot against her neck. "God, don't you ever get tired of always being so very in control? I know I would be exhausted constantly living inside the cage you've built for yourself. What's even worse is you're not even holding the keys anymore, but have turned them over to other people. Look at how your friends reacted to seeing you tonight. They have you so tightly pegged in the little niche they've carved for you, that they couldn't even comprehend seeing you on that stage. _Doesn't that bother you_? These people who are supposed to care have defined you in a way that would deny pieces of yourself. You are more than their 'weird' friend." Raven felt Green!Raven break through the walls of her mind at his words and shout insults at Duncan, many of the more colourful ones making her inwardly blush.

_How dare he think he knows everything about us!_ Green!Raven screamed wanting to put him in headlock.

_Teach him his place_ whispered Red!Raven, her eyes glowing from the shadows. _Make it deliciously painful. It's been too long since we've ripped and torn._

_You know he's right. _Purple!Raven called, her hand on Pink!Raven's shoulder_. He might be a little harsh in the telling but there's truth there. We should listen. _Outwardly Raven kept her lips pursed in a thin line afraid of multiple voices escaping should she open her mouth to reply to Duncan's allegations.

He spun her to face him. "You say that you aren't the sort who dances with 'some guy' in a club. First of all, I'm not just 'some guy'." He smiled impishly, pulling her closer. "Secondly, before tonight, I bet you would have said you weren't the sort who dances a lead role on a public stage but now you are." He twirled a piece of her violet hair around his finger. "Be the girl that defies all expectations twice in one night and dance with - if I do say so myself - a _hot_ guy in a club."

**xXx**

Nightwing lost track of how long they had been there. Between the whiskeys and Argent spinning him around on the dance floor, everything hung like a thick fog around him. Cyborg and Changeling had long since called it a night, saying they had League duties in the morning, leaving Nightwing at Argent's mercy.

"Are you going to glare at him all night?" Argent chuckled as Nightwing's eyes once again wandered over to Raven and Duncan. He was saying something to her, his lips pressed close to her hair, and she was laughing. Duncan was making _his_ Raven laugh.

"Easy there tiger, you're crushing my hand." Nightwing winced and relaxed his grip on Argent.

"Sorry."

"It's ok to tell her how you feel, you know." Argent flicked her head towards the couple.

Nightwing started to deny the obvious out of reflex but then decided to hell with it. Argent was terrier-like when it came to things that interested her. Once she had sunk her teeth into a topic she wouldn't let go until she was satisfied. He gave a half-hearted shrug. "Doesn't matter. Raven and I have tried to go down that road before, came close a couple times but we never could make it work. After years of like that, I could never convince her to take another chance. We've hurt each other too deeply in the past.

His dancing partner flicked him teasingly in the forehead. "First off, quit it with the self-pity, you're harshing my mellow. Second, why not let Raven decide for herself? She's a big girl. I've always heard people talk about that big brain of yours, but I'm beginning to think they must have been mistaken, because you are acting like a down right idiot. Of course it's never going to work if you never give Raven a chance. You've put yourself on the bench before the game even started, leaving the field wide open for guys like Duncan to do… well, _that_." She pointed behind him.

Nightwing turned just in time to see Duncan slide his hand from Raven's waist down to her ass. Feeling his stare, Duncan locked eyes with Nightwing and nuzzled against her neck smiling all the while.

He watched Raven's expression flit several times between amusement and annoyance in a matter of seconds. She mouthed something he couldn't hear and pulled Duncan's arm back to her waist. The smirking man, eyes once more challenging Nightwing, replied close to her ear with something that made her laugh and slid his hand back down. This time Raven didn't move it.

Nightwing was across the room before he realized what was happening. As if on its own accord, his hand came up and yanked the red haired imp away from Raven, throwing him to the floor.

"Leave. Now." He growled, stepping in front of Raven shielding her from sight. Nightwing could feel her aura crashing angrily against his back. _Good_, he thought, _she's just as mad at this idiot as I am._ What he failed to realize was that she had a different opinion about which of them was the idiot.

"WHAT THE HELL RICHARD?"

Nightwing spun around as she darted past him to help Duncan up off the floor. His mouth dropped open as he fought the tidal wave of rage inside him. "What do you mean 'what the hell'?" He shouted back. They were starting to draw a crowd now. "I wasn't going to just stand by while that asshole groped you!

Duncan wiped blood from his lip and smiled behind Raven's head as she stood in front of him protectively. He was bleeding slightly from where Nightwing had back handed him to the floor. "Seems to me, Rachel, that he doesn't think you can take care of yourself." Duncan called out to Nightwing, his blue eyes steely despite his upbeat tone. Nightwing wondered briefly if this man ever stopped smiling.

"Got a bit of a hero complex do you, Dick? Well, hate to say you're misguided, _Dick_, but I didn't hear her complain."

Snarling, Nightwing lunged at the man and held him aloft by the collar of his shirt. This kid had a death wish.

"What's wrong, Wonder Boy?" Duncan hissed, his voice barely audible over the noise in the club. He sneered down at Nightwing. "Lose something? Bet that happens to you a lot."

Nightwing tightened his grip. "_What_ did you call me?" Absorbed in the malice he felt for the red-head, he never saw Raven raise her hand.

_Slap_

The blow made his head ring. He stood in shock as Raven glared up at him. In that moment time seemed to freeze everyone in the club was staring at the three of them even the music seemed to have stopped.

"Put. Duncan. Down. Now." She seethed through gritted teeth.

"Rachel I..." He began, releasing Duncan. Raven fixed him with a stare that had made lesser men wither beneath it.

"Duncan," she said turning to her classmate with a smile that suggested false calm, "will you excuse me for a moment? I need to speak with Richard. Alone." Latching her hand onto Nightwing's arm she dug her nails in like talons and began to drag him towards the door.

The night air hit them with a chill, but it was the fury rolling off Raven that made Nightwing shiver.

"What is wrong with you? You know what? Never mind, I _don't care_." Overhead the street lights flickered manically as she rubbed her temples ."Let me be plain. What you did in there was not only embarrassing to me and him, but was completely uncalled for."

"But, he…" Nightwing couldn't even finish his sentence before she cut him off again.

"I don't want to hear it." She took several deep breaths and counted backwards from ten trying to force herself to calm down. "Gods, you always do this. Treat me like I'm some sort of helpless damsel that can't do anything herself. I'm not made of glass, Richard! I did not need your help then nor do I need it now." She met his eyes and glared. "I _like_ Duncan. Sure, he's a bit more _forward_ then I would like or expect sometimes, but that's my business not yours." She raised herself to her full height, as if to prove a point. "You gave up that right a long time ago."

Nightwing ran his fingers through his hair and searched Raven's face with hungry eyes. He was desperate to find any little hint of affection in her demeanor. "I know, I'm sorry. You don't need my protection, and I know that. But, when I saw him touching you like that..." He waved his hands helplessly, lacking the words to describe the scene or his feelings. "Raven, there's something not right about that guy. He called me 'Wonder Boy', it's like he knows about us."

"I think you're just paranoid, Richard, and would say anything right now." Raven snorted incredulously. "But even if that were true, I would still trust him over you. Tell me, does the group still think that _I'm_ the one who pushed _you_ away?" Nightwing avoided her gaze and she nodded in understanding. "Ah yes, I thought so. Wouldn't do to let them know the truth would it? Sweet protector Robin, letting the creepy demon girl break his heart for her own good." She spat with venom soaking each syllable.

"I never said that..." he began.

"But you never corrected them either!" Raven snapped, cutting him off. Anger was building inside her like a volcano readying to destroy everything in its path. "All those years I let you be the victim, never once complaining about our friends seeing me as a heartless bitch. Never once begrudging you the happiness with Starfire that you paraded around the tower. Did you honestly expect me to just fall into your lap when I returned and saw that Kori was gone, after everything that you did? That I was just waiting around all those years for you to grace me with your affection?" She snorted again. "I gave up on you long ago Richard, granted not with the ease that you gave up on me, but I managed."

Nightwing reached out for her. She looked so fierce, but so small in the moonlight that it made him long for another night, years ago when she had shone under a similar glow. "It wasn't easy for me either Raven. Please, I made a mistake. I have spent years trying to ignore certain parts of myself, the dark corners I never want to shine a light on. And, most of the time I can hide it everyone else. But… when we had that night together, suddenly I couldn't hide anymore and I panicked. No one was ever able to get under my skin like you. I mean, you've been in my head for christssake! I was laid bare to you and it scared the shit out of me. I couldn't handle it so I ran away to Kori." He seemed to be trying to justify his actions to himself as much as to her. "She made it so easy to hide who I really am, because she took me at face value. But that was wrong, for a million different reasons. And for these past five years I have broken Kori apart realizing that _you_ have been with me every waking moment. That after all of this… _shit _in my life that _I _screwed up, I needed you. I _never_ got over you."

She flinched from his touch. "YOU NEVER GOT OVER ME?" She screamed, black bands of magic lashing out and slicing his skin hard enough to draw blood. Nightwing winced, but gave no other reaction and continued to stare at Raven. "That's all you have to say to me? You _forced_ me out of my home because of what you did. I left EVERYTHING I ever wanted for five years while you got to walk away into the sunset with Kori. I couldn't _stand _to be near you knowing that you made a choice that _should _have been me and wasn't. I got over what happened, but now, you come back after everything fell apart between you two with an 'I'm sorry'? HOW DARE YOU. I am NOT your back up plan. And saying you made a mistake, like _that_ somehow changes anything that happened in our past. Well, let me save you from making another mistake, _Richard_." She turned away and walked back into Silidon's roaring embrace.

Nightwing watched her retreating form being swallowed by the flashing lights. The cut on his cheek stung and throbbed as bitter tears traced it down his face. With a frustrated roar Nightwing smashed his fist into a brick wall and stormed away.

Neither had noticed the bone-white grin glowing from the shadows.

**xXx**

**A/N: The thick plottens eh? Next chapter feature's some Batfamily goodness!**


	6. Brass Bed

**A/N: Happy Holiday Hoopla Everyone! Well the world didn't end so here's some got dang BATMAN. My special thanks to those who gave me such wonderful reviews last chapter and the always positive Xaphrin. You guys gave me the push I needed. Enjoy!**

**xXx**

_One Week Later, Wayne Manor_

Nightwing's back hit the sparring mat with a sharp smack. His breath was forced from his lungs and he gasped desperately trying to get it back. Bruce wasn't pulling any punches.

"Again." Batman motioned for Nightwing to get to his feet again.

His former student hissed sharply and winced as he stood. They had been at this for hours. A mental diagnosis revealed what was probably bruised kidneys, a sprained shoulder, and two slightly fractured ribs. He'd fought through worse to be sure, but never after having it inflicted by Batman.

"Damn it, Bruce. What is with you today? I thought we were supposed to be drilling Jason. When did this turn into you just beating the hell out of me?" He shifted into the beginning stance and nodded warily for Batman to start again. The pair exchanged blows for several more minutes before Nightwing was once again sent sailing through the air.

"Ever since I have begun to doubt your ability to defend yourself." Batman grunted, helping Nightwing back up for what felt like the hundredth time. "You may no longer be my student, but I still consider you my son, and therefore it is my responsibility to ensure you remain safe." His eyes darted to and older wound, one that Richard had gotten on patrol a few nights ago. "You've been sloppy and impulsive on patrol lately and I cannot allow the kind of recklessness that puts your life and countless civilians' lives at risk. While I am away with the League, you are responsible for Gotham and the many people that I care for. And with the way you are acting now, _I_ will not put their lives in such careless hands. So, we will continue to drill until this is remedied. I asked you here to help me train Jason, true. But how can I let you do that if you ignore everything that I've taught you?" His normally stony eyes softened briefly. "What is bothering you, Richard?"

Nightwing snatched a bo staff from the weapons rack and lunged for his mentor, trying to wipe any thoughts of Raven and Duncan from his mind. That was something he didn't want to think about right now, not when it might prove Batman's point. "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine!" He snapped, aiming the heavy metal staff at the older man's hip hoping to damage the joint and gain an advantage. _Bruce is wrong,_he told himself only half believing it,_ I have everything under control._ Batman blocked the blow easily, stepping out of the way with nearly silent steps.

"You call this nothing? You have yet to put me on the defensive and are letting me dictate the terms of our match. Add that to the fact that you constantly sacrifice your footing for wild attacks."

Nightwing felt like a blood vessel was going to pop any moment. The last thing he needed was to be lectured by _him_ about something that he didn't even understand. Bruce had had hundreds of love affairs that he took up and discarded without seeming to think twice. He might consider Nightwing weaker for not having a emotional vacuum but at least Richard still seemed human. It wasn't any of his business anyway. He glared at Batman through sweat-soaked eyes and growled. "I thought we were sparring here, Dr. Phil, not having group therapy. You wanna beat the hell out of me? Bring it."

His mentor raised an eyebrow and moved into position. "As you wish."

The two relentlessly spun around the Batcave, weapons and limbs clashing. They were both so preoccupied with thrashing each other that they were completely oblivious to Jason, Barbra, and Alfred's entrance.

"Hey Alfred," chirped Oracle, parking her wheelchair by the elderly butler. She had stopped by to discuss Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn's latest crime spree with her former teacher, but had been unnerved to find him and Richard in the midst of a "family quarrel" as Alfred called it when he welcomed her in. "And little brother J, how are you?"

Jason quickly ducked out of the way before she could ruffle his hair affectionately. _He's nothing like how Richard was at this age_, she thought a little sadly, remembering how carefree the original Robin used to be. Richard had once been a bit of a jokester when first taken under Batman's wing, but tired of never being taken seriously had turned solemn as he grew._ Jason on the other hand_, she continued, _seems to have been born missing a sense a sense of humor_. She inwardly winced. It was after Jason's over-eager beating of Harvey Dent's goons that Bruce had called in Richard for help. She glanced at the stoic boy out of the corner of her eye.

_He's still so standoffish, he hasn't even seemed to warm towards Alfred. He's more like a mini-Bruce with extra malice than a second Richard. I hope Bruce listened when I told him to keep a closer eye on Jason, he's too ruthless._ She took in the two members of her adoptive family exchanging blows. Speaking of ruthless. "Oof. I haven't seen Bruce and Richard go at it like this since Rich wanted to go solo and leave for Jump City. What happened?"

Alfred, seemingly out of nowhere, produced a still steaming cup of tea and handed it to Oracle. "Always good to see you, Miss Barbara. Master Bruce has been concerned for some time that Master Richard has been acting quite irresponsible lately while performing his duties. Apparently, he was poisoned drastically by Scarecrow earlier this week and if Master Bruce had not been nearby could have lost his life. I have not seen him so careless since he first donned his Robin persona." The man servant shook his head. Even through his critique Oracle could see he was trying to hold in judgment. Alfred may softly scold or give a nudge in the right direction but he hardly ever gave his outright opinion. "Master Bruce is attempting to find the cause of his recklessness." A small frown curled the edges of his mouth as he watched Batman counter a particularly violent attack. "In his own way of course. Though I do wish Master Bruce would remember that Wayne Manor is not a hospital and I am not a surgeon. "

Oracle winced as skin and bone met skin and bone. "Looks like tonight you just may be." The two turned their attention back to the match unfolding before them.

Countless times Nightwing swung at Batman with growing desperation, and each time his mentor sent him slamming to the ground. With each defeat he would continue to ask Nightwing what was troubling him, and each time his adopted son would simply lunge again. Finally Bruce had had enough. As Nightwing made to strike at his ribs, Batman snatched the young man's wrist on the arm with the sprained shoulder and twisted.

"Enough! You are acting like a child. I haven't seen you this impetuous since I first began your training. As it was then, I believe it is not me you are really fighting. So, who or what has you acting so rashly today?"

Nightwing bit down on the pain and struggled against the older man, refusing to speak.

Batman sighed, sounding much like a weary mother taxed by her son's unruly behaviour. "No matter. As I told you before, I simply cannot allow such brashness to be responsible for Gotham. Unlike before, however, I will not be foolish enough to simply trust you'll to obey me in this matter. I know you to be too headstrong to stay behind, no matter my orders. Therefore, you have the following choice: you either allow me to help you by telling me what troubles you or…" His grip tightened, and Nightwing hissed between his teeth. "I break your wrist and keep you from the field that way. Either way this ends now, my patience has grown thin."

"Must you really resort to such barbarism Master Bruce?" Alfred called, a hint of worry creeping into his usually calm voice. "I hardly think this method of parenting is necessary."

Batman ignored his long time friend's comment and dug his fingers deeper.

"Do you really think something as small as a broken wrist would stop me Bruce?" Nightwing snarled, fighting Batman's grip like a caged animal. "I've fought with worse and without your help. You're treating me like a side kick you can still bully into submission. My life is none of your business, and I'm _not_ a damn kid anymore!"

Batman relaxed his grip on his protégé slightly and thoughtfully regarded the young man he had raised. "You are right on both counts." In one fluid motion he released Nightwing's arm and swept his left leg. The cave rang with the sickening sound of a knee dislocating. Striking again he targeted Nightwing's fractured ribs and broke them further. Calmly sinking to the floor beside where his eldest son writhed in pain, Batman sat cross-legged and waited to speak. "A broken wrist would not stop you, if anything it would make you more determined while in this state of mind to defy me out of spite." He waited for Nightwing to find air. "You also wish to not be treated like a child but as my peer, fair enough. Then as my peer I have this to say: you are acting like a 'damn child' in the throes of a tantrum, and I refuse to coddle you anymore. Your actions have consequences Richard, you lashed out in anger and left yourself open to the pain I inflicted. As a result you have sacrificed your ability to do your job in this city. Better by my hand than one who would end your life. What was the first lesson I taught you when I brought you down here?"

The sweet endorphins rushing through his body could do nothing to ease the waves of pain rocking Nightwing from head to toe. He stared up into his mentor's face through the fog of agony and resisted the urge to spit and snarl. For once, Batman might have been right, as much as it pained him to admit. "A true warrior keeps his heart from his mind." He gasped, feeling his organs going into shock. "A heavy heart loses lives." On the far side of the cave Oracle and Jason mouthed the words along with their brother in arms.

"Very good." Batman stared down at his son, and continued doing nothing to aid the young man while he writhed on the training mats. "You now have two choices: either you can wallow in this foul mood of yours for the next six months that it will take for you to completely heal, or we can discuss your problem like adults and I can call someone from the League to heal you."

Nightwing thought he felt his heart stop several times as each breath fresh agony ripped across his chest. He didn't think Bruce had punctured his lung but it still felt like he was suffocating.

"Bite. Me. Bruce."

Batman shook his head and stood up. "Still so spiteful, even in such pain. Have it your way then. Alfred?" He called motioning the aged butler over. "Please have Jason help you put Richard in his room. I'll be leaving for the night. I need to speak with Gordon before I join up with the League." Batman nodded to Oracle as he passed, his expression never changing. "It's always great to see you Barbara, phone Canary would you and ask if she would monitor Gotham while I'm gone. Tell her I'll owe her one." He paused and placed a hand on her shoulder, his eyes softening briefly. "Also could you sit with Richard a while? He listens to you."

Barbara nodded simply, watching Alfred and Jason scoop her friend up off the cave floor. "Of course."

**xXx**

Alfred's weathered hands gave the bandages a final wrap and tightly tied them off. Nightwing hissed and jerked away from the butler as far as he could on the bed.

"Ouch, Alfred! Be careful dammit!"

Alfred rapped his knuckles on the youth's forehead reproachfully and tutted. "Mind your tongue, Master Richard, I'm not above putting a bar of soap in your mouth. I don't care how old you are." Collecting his first-aid kit he smiled at Oracle and shut the door behind him.

There was a slow, stifling silence between them. His eyes avoided hers, no matter how long she tried to wait him out. Sighing, she finally gave up and moved closer to his side. "What's going on with you Richard?" Oracle asked, tucking the blanket tighter around him and adjusting her glasses. "It's not like you to vent on Bruce like that when he tries to help you. This goes beyond you two butting heads." She reached across the mountain of sheets and held his calloused hand in hers. "You had this look..." Oracle trailed off, hoping against hope that he would respond. When he didn't, she finished for him. "It was like you were trying to punish yourself for something through the pain he afflicted."

Nightwing jerked his hand away and turned towards the wall, his eyes cold and his lips pressed together. Oracle knew this face all too well, having run into it many times when they were children. He was putting up a barrier between them, that no power known to man could tear down. The first time she had been stonewalled like this was when she had questioned him about his parents. Richard had closed himself off from her completely for a week. For him to use such methods again, Oracle knew she must be close to a particularly raw and open wound.

Oracle ran through a few possibilities before settling on the most likely. "Is this about Kori?" she whispered. His face stayed steely and she continued down the list. "The Titans? Bruce? Catwoman…" She sighed and shook her head, that last one had been grasping at straws. "You can't stay locked up like this forever, Richard. You know what this will do to you… what it is already doing to you. You let _Scarecrow_ of all people get the drop on you and even worse, you let Bruce nearly murder you in the cave tonight. This refusal to accept what is already there in front of you is going to get you killed. You have to deal with this… _whatever_ it is." Her voice grew sharper with each word. She knew that he hated it when she used what he called her "Big Sister Voice" but she was desperate to get through to him. _Good_, she thought watching Nightwing wince in pain as her words sunk in, _at least he has some soul left._

"Just tell me what is going on…" Her thumb slid over his hand. "You were there for me when Joker put me in this chair and I hated the world. Remember? Let me help you like you helped me." She waited for any indication that he cared, but was met with silence. Seeing no response from him, Oracle released the brake on her chair and began to wheel herself out of the room.

"Fine. Bruce is right you know. You _are_ acting like a damn child and it is going to get you killed. Should you choose to wise up, you know where to find me, Peter Pan."

"It's about Raven."

The whisper was so quiet, she thought she misheard it, and it stopped her dead before she could reach the door. "Raven?" She looked back at him, noticing the twitch in his lips as she said his old teammate's name. So, she _hadn't_ misheard it.

"What does the half-demon girl from your old team have to do with anything? I thought she returned to her home world five years ago. Wait..." She paused, slowly remembering bits of gossip heard from Alfred not too long ago. "Is she the girl from the Titans that you had that failed romance with?"

Nightwing groaned as he shifted himself into a sitting position and leaned back against the pillows. "Something like that..."

**xXx**

_It was the first time he had dared to speak of the bond between them, the night Raven stormed from her surprise birthday party. If they had both been honest before then, neither would have denied its existence yet they never addressed it. Raven, he suspected, worried that to verbally confirm its presence was to make it real and therefore able to inflict pain. As for himself, Robin was embarrassed by his weakness in letting Raven see some of the still raw pieces of his soul. But, on that night none of that seemed to matter, her hurt seemed greater than ever somehow and her walls up even higher. So he played the only card he had._

_"Raven, what's wrong?" He caught her in the darkened tower hall before she could disappear into her room. Though she paused, she kept her back towards him like a shield._

_"I just don't like parties." Robin fought the sudden reflex to reach for her. The emotions she kept mostly hidden from the other Titans to him came off her in waves and, like a twin, he could feel each one as if they were his own. Fear, Anger, Sadness._

_"It's more than that, I can tell. We have a bond remember? You've been inside my mind, let me inside yours." _

_How he had begged then for something he would later run from._

_"Robin, you know me better than anyone. You should know there are places in my mind where you can't go. Where no one should ever go."_

_"I'm willing to try, if you'll..." _

_"I can't!" Raven cut him off with a snap._

_"Tell me what's going on." he pleaded._

_"Just trust me. If you knew anything about the day of my birth you'd know there's nothing to celebrate." With those words ringing in his ears, she walked away and hid behind her favourite defense, her bedroom door. Robin could hear the others talking in hushed whispers as they cleaned up the living room. Dreading the questions he knew they would ask, Robin drifted to his own room worrying Raven's problems over in his mind with each step. He nearly reached the door when he heard her voice pierce the night. He raced there and pummeled the door with his fist, determined to knock it down if necessary. Raven finally answered coated in a cold sweat._

_"I heard you scream!" Before she could answer the Tower's alarm sounded and red lights strobed._

_"Trouble."_

_The factory was filled churning pistons and grinding gears casting numerous shadows in which any villain could hide. Cyborg idly wondered aloud who their foe would be tonight and the group pondered with relaxed amusement. But then Robin saw the impossible: Slade._

_"No." The words escaped in a whisper as Beast Boy knocked against his back. The rest of the Titans spotted their long-time enemy, who until this night, they thought dead. As their cries of protest filled the cavernous factory their leader clenched his fist._

_"Slade," Robin hissed, all other cares momentarily forgotten in his obsession with the masked man. "I don't know where you've been but you shouldn't have come back. I'm still ready." A strange symbol appeared on Slade's mask, glowing like a third eye._

_"That's precious Robin, but I didn't come back for you." The battle began and the Titan's pitted their best against Slade's new powers. But as the fighting raged around them Robin began to doubt his team's chances of survival. Suddenly the world stopped though to his mind Robin had simply blinked and then found Raven at his side. Seeing him about to lose his life had forced Raven to freeze time, desperate to end the chaos around her and escape Slade. It was in this world of an in between moment that she told Robin everything._

_"When I was born they looked into my future. On this day, the anniversary of my birth, something is supposed to happen. Something very bad." _

_It was there on the cold stone church floor that Slade found them and tore Raven from his side. He dragged himself along the floor after them, willing his legs to work again. Consumed with the need to stop the man who had plagued him from inflicting any such pain on Raven, Robin fought through the cloud of pain and hauled himself to his feet. He wouldn't let Slade have her._

_Robin finally caught up to them, limping along Raven and Slade's path of destruction carved into the city streets. All around him people stood like statues, maybe to never move again. Raven had performed the spell by accident, and there was no guaranty that she could re-animate the city. But, none of this mattered to Robin now. His thoughts only filled with finding Raven and never letting Slade or anyone else near her again. Something inside him ticked with the desire to both possess and protect her, keeping her safe from any harm. _

_Pulling himself around a corner, Robin spied Slade clutching her arms on a roof top, half bronze mask glinting in the moonlight. Then Raven screamed in agony, the only sound from their conversation to reach Robin's ears, and it tore through him like a knife. As her cry echoed, time released the breath it had been holding and started again. It went unnoticed by Robin, however, as he watched with horror while Slade threw Raven's limp and tattered boy from the roof. Instinctively he shot a repelling line into the sky and caught her slim form before she hit the ground._

_It was a long time after they returned to the tower before she spoke about what Slade had done. At first he had feared the worst, seeing the ragged state of her clothes. Bile had risen in his throat as images of Slade with Raven raced through his consciousness. It angered him to think that Slade may have taken even the smallest part of her away from him. Luckily, he had managed to return Raven to the tower before the others had seen. He had no idea what seeing their teammate in this state might do to them, but it for himself… it was breaking his heart. She didn't deserve this, not her._

_"He didn't harm me, Robin." Raven whispered, voice rusty, as if her earlier scream had permanently damaged her vocal cords. She hid her face behind a curtain of newly long violet hair. "Not in the way you think."_

_"How did you…?" he questioned. _

_She uncovered her face but looked through him to the wall beyond. "You've checked me for injuries and though you found none, you're still fuming as if Slade had left me in pieces." Raven replied, expressionless. "Our bond is a two way street, remember?" _

_Robin knew her emotional distance was a method of coping for the empathy, but still he wished she'd scream, cry, something. Anything was better than seeing her so... empty. He heard the faint beep of the com-link in his ear and sighed. Against his better judgment, he had agreed to help the team throw Raven another birthday party, despite the day's events. Earlier, Cyborg had come to the door with the idea and the two had spoken in the hall quietly. They dressed it up like they were doing it to cheer her up, but all of the team knew deep down it was really for them. Their world had been shattered and they needed one good moment in this day._

_"Beast Boy paged me to come downstairs, will you be alright by yourself?" _

_A flicker of anger passed behind Raven's eyes and Robin instantly felt a black spot erupt inside his heart. She needed something more than a party. She needed a shoulder and someone to lend her strength but she would never let him help her._

_"I'll be fine I just need a few minutes." She attempted a sad smile before rising from the bed and ushering him out the door. "Go on." _

_He continued to stare at her, waiting for a sign that maybe this time she would let him in, but she just stared ahead and closed the door. As it slid shut behind him with a pneumatic hiss, Robin heard a faint sob come from the other side. Even after everything they had been through together, Raven still wouldn't and couldn't let herself break down in front of him._

_Later, she came down to the common room, hair freshly cropped. As the lights clicked on and the team yelled "Surprise", none of them, save Robin, could see any of the distress lurking beneath the surface. Raven smiled and laughed with her makeshift family, but to him each interaction felt hollow. As if it was just a show, and she was trying to protect them from the truth. Finally, the last candle had been extinguished and the last young hero had retired for the night leaving just Robin and Raven in the dim starlight._

_"You should get some sleep, I'll clean the rest of this." He called to her hunched form, crumpled on the couch. After Starfire, the last to stay up, had gone to her room, Raven had caved in on herself, seemingly exhausted at holding up the pretenses._

_"Robin?" Her voice was little more than a soft rasp, as if she feared to speak louder. He turned to find her suddenly behind him._

_"Yes?" he asked, lowering his voice to match hers and trying very hard to keep breathing. Raven had never been this close before, to anyone, and having her almost leaning against his chest was driving him mad._

Get it together Grayson, _he thought_, now is not the time.

_"I'm so sorry." Raven's slender arms circled his waist and pulled herself close. As she buried her head Robin saw her shoulders shake with stifled cries. Taking a few minutes to recover from the initial shock, Robin cautiously brushed her hair with his fingertips and hugged his teammate tighter._

_"Sorry for what?" He could feel her tears soaking through his uniform shirt. Raven gathered a fold of his cape in her fist and held on like it was the only thing anchoring her to this world._

_"I'm sorry for not telling you, for putting everyone in danger. For being who I am and that being so much more trouble than I'm worth. For not being strong enough to stand against Slade on my own." Her breathing was coming in ragged gasps now, words running together in their eagerness to be finally said. _

_Robin realized that Raven had probably been biting them back for some time. "But mostly…" She looked up at him, suddenly brash in her brokenness. "I'm sorry for being so weak and asking what I'm about to say: Robin please stay with me." His breath hitched in his chest and he was very sure he heard his heart stop. "Please, I can't stand being alone tonight, it's a lot to ask… especially after everything that's happened, but I can't ask the others. I keep seeing Slade's face everywhere, hear his words in my head." Raven looked away, genuine fear shining in her eyes. "I- I trust you." _

_Robin held her chin and turned her to face him, using the other to remove his ever present mask. For the first time amethyst eyes met ocean blue while Robin wiped her tears away. He had never removed his mask for anyone outside the Batcave, always paranoid about his secret identity. But suddenly none of that mattered he didn't want any more walls between them. Placing a kiss on each cheek, he pulled her close once more and murmured into her hair. "It will never be too much Raven. I'll stay tonight and as many nights as you need."_

_That night he held the girl who held his heart until dawn._

**xXx**

"So what went wrong?" Oracle asked, handing Nightwing a glass of water and helping him sit up. Nightwing took a few sips before responding.

"Nothing at first. Our relationship grew, but in secret. It was like that Greek Myth of Cupid and Psyche. We would only be a couple at night, one of us leaving the other at first light to keep the team from knowing. Raven was terrified of the others knowing, although I suspect they knew from the start. In the months that followed leading up to Trigon's rise to power she opened up to me completely."

"But not you to her?" Oracle questioned.

Nightwing stared at the ceiling and shook his head, trying to clear the shadows of a regretful past. "Somewhat but not nearly like she had. The worst part was of course the times during those months were she would get skittish about how exposed she had become and back away." He sighed. "I loved her so much then and wanted her to trust me. Time and again I would convince her to stay, to have no secrets. Little did I know I was just setting her up each time for a deeper hurt." His fist clenched, knuckles turning white with self-loathing. "But then, Trigon fell and suddenly it wasn't about her anymore. We had explored all the skeletons in Raven's closet and before I knew it, we began to move onto my own. Then I was the one getting skittish."

Oracle reached out and smoothed his hair from his face.

"I would back away, and that angered Raven. She started thinking that I didn't show her the same trust she had shown me. I was sixteen… I was just a stupid kid," he stammered, fighting for control over himself. Raven wasn't the only who hated showing weakness. "I couldn't tell Raven that it wasn't that I didn't trust her it was that I didn't trust me, I didn't know how." Nightwing gave her hand a small squeeze, still searching for solace. "With her father gone, she would finally have a chance to live a normal life and I saw myself becoming the only dark spot in her world." He offered a bitter laugh. The irony of turning from saviour to villain had left a sour taste over the years. "There's a saying that to live a happy life you must live it in a round room, because shadows hide in corners. I wasn't ready to live without corners."

Oracle waited for him to continue, but when he stayed silent she nudged him along. "So, what happened?"

Nightwing fidgeted. "One night we fell asleep together and I began to dream. Suddenly, Raven was there in the dream with me and it was no longer a dream, but memories from my past. I freaked, accused her of invading my mind without my permission, she insisted that it was a mistake and had no clue how she had done it. I stormed out of the room and our relationship ended there." He rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand. Oracle wondered if he had noticed the bags beneath them. "A few weeks after that, I threw myself into dating Kori and our team did it's best to ignore the elephant in the room. I just tossed her to the side because I knew that she was too close, like she didn't even matter." Nightwing snarled with self loathing. "The worst part is that they all believed that she had broken my heart, I didn't know until Kori told me about a year later. I guess Cyborg told Raven. The _rea_l icing on the idiot cake though is that I managed to ruin things with Kori too, because in spite of everything Raven was always between us. I couldn't get over her and Kori resented that I only chose her after being rejected by Raven." He rolled onto his good side and looked at his friend. "I really made a mess of things, Babs."

"But why punish yourself now? Yes, Raven came back but that was almost two months ago. I mean, you couldn't have messed anything else up beyond what it already is… could you?" Nightwing avoided her eyes. "Richard you didn't..."

He smiled grimly, running his thumb over the nearly invisible line on his cheek, left from Raven's powers a week ago. "Oh, I haven't told you the best part. I beat up a guy from her college, that apparently she has feelings for, and then blurted out that I still loved her afterwards."

It was Oracle's turn to wince. "Ouch. You _are _pretty stupid." She removed her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose. Even as a teen these love triangles had given her migraines, something that had only worsened with age. "Let me guess, didn't go over the greatest and you've been taking it out on everyone else and yourself Bat-Family style." She replaced her glasses and rolled her eyes at him. "God, you are _so_ Bruce's son, adopted or no. You both have such dramatic guilt trips that drag everything down with you. Can't you two just be normal people and eat some ice-cream and watch crappy tv for a day?" Nightwing's brisk laugh quickly turned to a groan as he clutched his damaged side. _At least he was smiling_, Oracle thought.

"That would be nice, but I don't think I have it in me." He watched Oracle's face for a moment. "So, what should I do now?"

"Oh, so now you want my advice… _great._ You know I'm not good at relationship stuff either, curse of being mentored by Bruce I guess, but I'll give it a , you screwed up Rich, you screwed up bad. But I'm going to say this: if she is this important to you then fight on. You were kids when this happened and truth be told still kind of are. While what you did was granted, a special brand of stupid, you are also stupidly stubborn enough to make it right." She raised a finger in warning. "I said 'right' not 'happily ever after'. You may not get the girl, but maybe with some self sacrifice you can fix your friendship. Raven may end up with this guy and you have to respect that. In the mean time you have to stop punishing yourself. I'll talk to Bruce, give him the short version, and see about getting you healed." Oracle rolled herself to the doorway and looked back smiling. "You don't have the figure for a wheelchair."

**xXx**

**A/N: *dead* Long chapter folks, but hopefully that was a good thing. Motivate my sloth-like nature and review.**


	7. Don't Trust Me

**A/N: I'M NOT DEAD! After almost two months I'm finally able to update again. My poor laptop had back to back problems but hopefully this chapter is worth the wait. Special thanks to those of you who gave me such good reviews last chapter. Also, and I cannot say this enough, please PLEASE send some love to my amazing Beta: Xaphrin. She really busted her butt this chapter! Enjoy!**

**xXx**

Raven woke to the comforting, spicy smell of French toast. Her momentary panic at opening her eyes in a strange room was flitting away as the pieces the night before fell into place. Stretching slowly while a smile split her face, she marveled at how at ease she felt, like her whole body could just melt into the bed. Debating rolling back over and prolonging this warm glow with more sleep, Raven's stomach let loose a resounding growl with which she couldn't argue. Grabbing a shirt from the floor she padded out to the kitchen just in time to see a bare-chested Duncan give the toast a dramatic flip and belt along with the radio.

"_Tell your boyfriend if he says he's got beef, that I'm a vegetarian and I'm not f***ing scared of him!" _

Raven suppressed a chuckle and continued her stealthy approach. She envied Duncan, how he lived so openly. At first, his constant good mood had repulsed her, but now that was the very thing that drew her to him. His disposition was infectious and it made her want more out of her own life. Perhaps that was the reason for her acting so unlike herself these past few days. She'd been happily playful and found herself unable to stop laughing while around him.

_I could get used to being this happy all the time_, Raven thought to herself hiding another smile behind her hand. Softly, she pounced.

"GAH!" Duncan shouted as Raven's cold fingers clamped on his shoulders nearly making him drop the skillet. "Jesus Rachel. You almost made me lose breakfast. I didn't hear you get up."

She smirked up at him. "It's a wonder you're able to hear anything, with the way you sing."

"Ha ha. So _funny._" He gave her a one armed hug and settled the pan back on the stove top. He glanced down at her and gave her a once-over with an appreciate whistle. "So, that's where my shirt went. Looks good on you."

Raven self-consciously tugged at the hem of the faded Batman shirt, red coloring her face. She hadn't noticed the logo when plucking it from the floor. Mentally she rolled her eyes, _just my luck_.

She somehow managed to ignore the annoyance of having Bruce Wayne's crime fighting crest across her chest. " I didn't know you were a Batman fan..." Raven trailed off grabbing a stack of toast. _Please don't be a Nightwing fan as well, for the love of Azarath. That would be just far too awkward._ She shoveled a bite of breakfast into her mouth to distract her from the sudden unwelcome onslaught of Richard-fueled rage and guilt.

"I've always kind of admired the Batman." Duncan answered, sliding his own plate piled high with food next to hers. "He's the hero of the common man you know? No powers, and yet he runs with the biggest supes of our time.

Chewing slowly, Raven turned her attention to the strange pearly white scars etched sporadically across Duncan's torso and arms. She hadn't given them much thought when she had first felt them beneath her fingertips in the dark last night, but a more careful study under the florescent kitchen lights had her asking questions. Raven had seen scars like that before, adorning the flesh of her comrades, and knew them to be common place among those in the hero life, but she had never seen them on a civilian.

"Rachel, are you even listening? I've asked you about three times now if you want syrup."

"Yeah… sorry, I was distracted." Raven's eyes slid over his scars again as Duncan slid the bottle of syrup across the counter. "I'm sorry if I'm prying, but I have to ask: where did you get those scars? I noticed them last night. They seem pretty… _serious_."

"It's not prying, just not my idea of pleasant breakfast conversation. Like most people I have a past that I'm not exactly proud of. Mine just has more obvious reminders." It was Duncan's turn to shrug. He skewered a piece of toast and waved it in the air dramatically. "I guess you could say I was a bit of a hell raiser in my youngin' days," he joked, affecting the tone of a cross geezer. "My Dad died when I was a kid and my Mum I never knew." Duncan's face grew taut with a rare show of seriousness. "I was raised in an orphanage right here in Gotham and well… you know the stereotype for the ones who don't get adopted. We walk around with chipped shoulders, mad at the world, society and all of that jazz. And my chip was particularly deep set. But, what can you do? Not everyone can get adopted by billionaires." The last word had an acid edge but he quickly moved on. "So, I rebelled as the story goes and ran away, got mixed up with the wrong sort and had a few hard knocks along the way." Duncan gestured to his marred skin.

Raven absently ran her fork through her breakfast doodling in the syrup, more interested in Duncan than his cooking. "So… what happened?" Her face colored again and she looked at her food letting her hair fall in her face to hide her shock at her own brazen question. "Sorry… I don't mean to pry."

"No, it's fine. I mean, I guess if there's anyone I want to tell it'd be you." He paused for a moment before continuing. "Finally I came to my senses around age 17 when I realized that the life I had made was not the one I wanted. I got my act together and by the grace of some unknown higher power got myself into college, even managed to nick myself a nice scholarship by writing a sob story essay about my 'hard knock life'." He paused to shoot her his trademark Cheshire grin, all together too pleased with himself at manipulating the system. "And then I signed up for a blow-off class with tutu enthusiasts and found this wonderful girl who tried to bite my head off the first time I said 'hello'. It was love at first 'get the hell away from me'." Duncan sighed dramatically and gave her a playful nudge, still gnawing at his breakfast.

"So then…" he began after gulping down some coffee. Raven had been appalled to see he drank it black, another unnerving parallel between him and Richard. Luckily for her, Duncan had an almost forgotten stash of tea in his shoebox apartment that she could skim from. She couldn't even stand the smell of coffee. "Your turn. Just because I was caught up in our wild night of debauchery-" he paused to wiggle his eyebrows at her "-doesn't mean I didn't notice you have quite a few scars of your own, Rachel." He softly reached out and tucked her curtain of hair behind her ear. "Not all of them physical. I thought it was supposed to be the guys who were the stereotypical anti-cuddlers when it came to sleep, but man once you dropped off you couldn't get far enough away from me. I woke up at one point to find you as close to the bed's edge as you could get without falling off. Little bit of a blow to my ego, not gonna lie."

Raven fidgeted, it was only fair for him to ask since she had pried into his life and she wished she had something normal to tell him, something an average non half daemon would say like "_Oh that? It's just that you snore, sweetie." _But the truth was that Duncan was perfect, and she was still so scared. Raven, despite everything, still couldn't bring herself to let go and trust anyone completely, no matter how much she wanted to with him.

Duncan grew suddenly solemn again, waiting for Raven to respond. "I don't know a good way to bring this up, so I'm just going to ask: Does it have something to do with that Richard guy? You were muttering about him in your sleep, and after that whole thing at the club you wouldn't answer any of my questions about what happened outside."

Raven avoided his suddenly laser-like gaze and swept her eyes around the kitchen to buy time. _Why do we have to talk about this now? Can't I keep Richard out of this for just a little while longer?_ Her focus landed on the small microwave clock and she had to bite back a shriek.

"Oh my god! Is it really almost noon?!" Raven jumped up from her place at the table and made a mad dash back to Duncan's room. Tearing around the apartment, she threw on her clothes with wild abandon faintly aware that Duncan had followed her.

"You know, if you didn't want to talk about that guy you could have said so, Rachel," he called as she flew about. "You don't have to make up excuses. I'm a big boy I can handle the truth."

Raven paused for long enough to give him a quick peck as she wiggled into her jeans. "It's not like that," she managed to gasp out, running short on breath. "We can talk about Richard later," Raven slapped a gag on Purple!Raven, before she could protest at the lie. "But, I haven't told anyone about this and if I don't get back before Toni wakes up, then the entirety of Gotham will know what happened between us by nightfall. Besides I'm meeting Victor at two and I really need a shower."

Duncan snaked his arms around her waist, and Raven rested against him with new-found ease. If someone had told her a year ago that she could be this trusting with another person, she would have laughed herself breathless. It never ceased to amaze her.

"You could always shower here." Duncan whispered suggestively, nibbling her ear. "And to hell with Toni knowing. I mean you have to tell your friends sometime." He felt her pull back slightly. "You _are_ going to tell them, right?"

Raven squirmed. "Yes of course." Another lie. "Just not yet."

Duncan pushed himself away.

"You don't know them like I do!" Raven implored, she could see the flicker of anger on his face. "Duncan, you are the best thing to happen to me in a long time but they aren't going to see it like that. All they'll see you as is some sort of villain trying to take me away, and I don't want to put you through that. My friends are stupidly protective and unless I warm them to the idea that we have… _this_…thing," she finished, lamely. "Then there will be no reasoning with them." _Not to mention Cy is still stuck on the idea of myself and Nightwing being together_, she added silently. "We'll tell them soon, I promise."

The lies were beginning to choke her.

**xXx**

Holding her breath, Raven slowly slid her key from the lock and silently opened the front door. Closing it softly behind her, she tip-toed through the dark apartment, listening for sounds of Toni. She had almost reached her bedroom when the living room flooded with light.

"Hold it right there, young lady!" Argent's mocking motherly tone made Raven wince and turn guiltily around. "Coming home so late. What sort of time do you call this?"

"It's almost one in the afternoon."

Argent waved her hand dismissively. "Don't change the subject. Look at you sneaking about in the same clothes you left in yesterday, like some sort of trollop. You crazy kids today with your Rock n' Roll and Diet Coke! In my day we had common sense and used the window." She smiled slyly and looped her arm with Raven's. "So tell me everything! How was it? No doubt with hips like those he was fantastic but still one must ask these things."

Raven tugged her arm away and tried to continue walking to her room. "Everything was fine."

Argent reached out a hand and gently stopped her retreat. "Only fine?"

The light-hearted twinkle suddenly left her dark eyes, and her lips tugged down into a frown. "Raven, kidding aside, what are you doing? Admittedly, I am happy that you and Duncan have hit things off but you seem less then thrilled. If you are this unsure then don't you think you're moving a little too fast?"

Raven raised a disbelieving eyebrow. Her roommate seemed to catch the meaning behind the gesture immediately.

"Ok, maybe not fast relatively speaking to me." Argent shone a brief mischievous grin. "I mean if I had been in your shoes I'd have jumped on that boy like a trampoline the night we went to Silidons." The grin faded away. "But, my point is you're not me, Raven. I know we weren't that close back in our Titan days, but even I know that you don't trust easily. Hell a stranger passing you on the street would know that. You've only known this boy for about two months and you're already spending the night? It just doesn't seem like you."

Raven choked back her response and watched in horror as shadowy figures in various colours began filling the room. This was bad, she had never seen them outside her head before and the Emoticlones were growing more solid with every passing moment. She had to get Argent out of here and deal with this, or there was no telling what sort of damage the clones could cause like this. Trying to keep her panic from showing she turned her attention back to Argent. _Just say anything, ANYTHING to get her to leave._

"You're right, it's not like me, and that's precisely why I am doing it." The words tasted bitter on Raven's tongue but she was desprate. "I'm tired of being like me. Always part of the background, never taking any risks, I'm sick of it. I finally have my powers under control and I want to live, damn it." _Well, I did have them under control,_ she added silently as her all too real clones hovered around her. Thankfully they still seemed to be visible only to her. Pink!Raven was making her best silly faces at Argent with the former Titan none the wiser.

"I don't think that's the whole truth. I saw how furious you were when you came back into the club after fighting with Richard. I may not know the entire history of what happened between you two, but I've picked up on enough to think that this thing with Duncan isn't just about having a love life. I think you've found a way to make Richard hurt, and part of you is dying to."

Raven stared at the projection of Red!Raven lurking behind Argent with a manic smile. _Yes yes_, she whispered, _make the little bird boy squirm and writhe. Let him taste the sweet pain he left in us._

Argent sighed, scratching the back of her head. "_Ugh_. This lecturing thing isn't exactly my forte. All I'll say is be careful and _really_ think about why you're doing this. I've gotten myself into too many bad relationships to not try and keep others from making the same mistakes."

The Emoticlones were all whispering at once now, humming in Raven's ears and making her head throb. She felt like she was drowning. This wasn't working! She wasn't leaving.

"I'm not making a mistake!" she snapped, making Argent startle. "Duncan is a nice guy and despite what you and everyone else may think he has nothing to do with Richard." Red!Raven placed a hand that burned like brimstone in hers and Raven let Wrath speak with her voice. "Just who in the hell do you think you are Toni? First the recital and now this? You're treating my life like some sort of pet project. I never asked you for your opinion and I never will. I don't care how many guys you slept with, that doesn't make you an expert on life." Her eyes narrowed. "If anything it makes you a damn slow learner."

Digging her keys back out from her jeans pocket she spun on her heel and stomped back towards the door, her invisible other selves trailing in her wake. Unable to budge Argent Raven had to leave and leave soon before real damage was done. She could see the hurt look on Argent's face but it was like looking at something from behind a plane of glass, the pain couldn't reach her. "I'm late for my lunch with Victor." And with that she stormed out the door and down the stairs.

**xXx**

Raven thundered down the sidewalk in a panic towards the cafe where she was meeting Victor, her emotions still keeping pace beside her. After winning against Trigon she had come to terms with the fact that the Emoticlones were still going to be a part of her life. The monks had explained that they were a way for her to deal with the emotions she had distanced herself from for so long. They flitted around in the background popping up in her head every once and a while but never like this. Now, they were out where she could see them like some sort of schizophrenic nightmare.

_I can't go meet Victor like this_, she thought glancing at Gray!Raven from the corner of her eye. _I'll be putting him in the same danger as Argent. _She winced guiltily thinking again about all the things she said to her roommate with Red!Raven's help. As she turned the corner, Raven looked up to see the sign of Bartholomew's Books where she worked. The mystical store tended to turn up where you didn't expected it and (like Raven's Emoticlones) couldn't be seen by most people.

_Maybe Barty will have a book I can borrow that will help me get rid of the projections, or at the very least I can meditate for a few moments and calm down before meeting Victor. _Pushing the door open she called out for the shop's gruff owner.

"Barty? It's me Raven! I came to borrow a book. Do you want me to pick up any shifts this week?"

Silence.

Barty was not the sort to quietly let people enter his place. Customer or otherwise, he always had some sort of snarky remark he bellowed out in greeting. Nor did he leave the shop unattended. Her hero senses screaming that something was wrong Raven let her magic flow to her fingertips and engulf her right hand. With her left she pressed the small panic button concealed on her necklace, thankful for the first time that overprotective Cyborg had made her promise to wear it. Kicking open the door to the storage room she was met with several sights at once that her already over worked brain struggled to process: her boss tied to a chair, a bomb placed nearby and a man in a skull mask holding a book in one hand and a dead man switch in the other. A man in a skull mask she knew too well.

"Red X." she hissed charging into the room secretly glad to have something to lash out at. The other man seemed to startle and almost dropped the volume he was there to steal.

"R-Raven," he stammered uncharacteristically. Raven had never known the thief to be anything but cocky and she hesitated slightly. "You aren't supposed to be here you-" X was cut off as Barty unwisely took that moment to swing his stubby leg as hard as he could at the masked man's wrist and send the bomb trigger flying. Both Raven and X dove desperately for it, each knowing what the released button meant.

Neither reached it in time.

**xXx**

Reports came in all over the city of the huge explosion down town. Cyborg, already on his way to answer Raven's distress call, heard his glamoured circuits squawk as danger alarms went off alerting him to the crisis. His Titan communicator, still a part of his robot half because he couldn't bear to part with it, beeped to life with Richard's worried face.

"Cyborg the Batcave told me you were in Gotham any chance you know what caused the explosion?" Victor shook his head and tried to coax another few watts of speed from his electronic body parts. Why did he ever give up his T-car?

"No, but Nightwing man, I got a distress signal from Raven just before it went off. I think she's there."

Richard's masked eyes grew wide with alarm. "I'm on my way."

The pair found her beside a pile of rubble floating gently a few inches off the ground, blood pooling beneath her. She had apparently managed to shield the others from the worst of the blast but had left herself exposed. Shrapnel protruded from her stomach and ribcage like a gruesome skyline. Both Nightwing and Cyborg rushed to her side, the other blast victims forgotten. Gingerly, Victor scanned his former teammate, careful not to disturb her wounds as he checked her vitals.

"She seems stable," he announced as Nightwing paced beside him. "She's entered her usual repair state, but I'm worried that with this much damage she might not wake up." He looked up at the ex-Titan leader, worry filling his one human eye. "We need to get her back to the Batcave."

Nightwing kept pacing. "Not good enough. The League's tower has a better medical bay, Alfred is not equipped to deal with something like this." He snatched Cyborg's com-link from his ear and placed it in his own. "Nightwing to Watch Tower, I need an immediate extraction from these coordinates."

The deep base voice of the Martian ManHunter filled his ear. "Nightwing you are not authorized access to this channel, please close all comms at once."

Cyborg thought the throbbing vein in Richard's head was going to burst.

"Cut the crap J'onn! I have a dying hero down here! You and I both know that I'm practically a member and Batman will back me up on this. Just do it!"

The Manhunter sighed. "Stand by."

As they painstakingly waited Cyborg surveyed the damaged bookstore, his eyes alighting on a very familiar mask. "Richard look."

Victor and Richard both exchanged confused glances at the sight of Red X laying next to her near their friend. X hadn't been seen for years, rumor had it that he had left the thief life. With one last glance at Raven, Cyborg approached the shopkeeper who had propped himself against a half standing wall. He knew that Richard would want to deal with X himself and in their rush to help Raven they hadn't given Barty a second glance.

"Are you ok?" he asked the short man, helping him stand.

"I was till this idiot tried to rob me." Barty snarled jerking his thumb at the unconscious Red X. "Ties me up with this stupid Earth weapon and nicks one of my rarest books. I kick the little snot while Ravie bursts in and kablewie, there goes my shop. I hate this dimension." Seeing no serious injuries on the bookseller, Cyborg crouched beside Nightwing as he stared down at Red X.

"What should we do with him?" Victor asked softly.

Nightwing pondered the anti-hero with his stolen suit. His hunch couldn't possibly be right, could it? Reaching out he pressed the hidden latch and released the bone white mask. Underneath lay a mop of red hair and pale face he knew all too well.

"Duncan." he snarled, resisting the urge to kick the sprawled man. Behind him Cyborg was cursing under his breath. Red X began to stir and softly called out one word: _Raven_. As if in response, Raven's nearby form began to buckle and thrash as if she were trying to fight off invisible daemons. Suddenly her mouth flew open in a silent scream and a beam of light poured out, splitting into six forms. As they gained clarity Nightwing and Cyborg could see they each resembled Raven down to the jeans and tee-shirt she was wearing. However, their shirts were different colours and bore one word slogans: Love, Happy, Shy, Brave, Wisdom, and Wrath. Now completely solid they called in one voice:

_**Give us Raven.**_

Diving out of the way as the six forms shot multi-coloured magic at them, Cyborg rolled towards Raven's still unconscious form before her doppelgangers could snatch her.

"Oh damn, Emoticlones."

**A/N: So who guessed Duncan's true identity? Chapter 8 should be up soon, computer gods willing! **


	8. My Will Be A Dead Man

**A/N: Special thanks to Smiles-X-Giggles for their extensive reviews, you made some really good points that I'll be using when I go back and streamline everything. Also as always I couldn't do this without Xaphrin, HAVE ALL THE THANKS!**

**So glad that many of you were able to pick up on the hints I left about Duncan's real identity! I couldn't resist even making his name one : "Duncan" Scottish/Gaelic meaning "_dark warrior"_ and "Clancy" Irish/Gaelic meaning _"red warrior"._ The more you know *rainbow***

_"Oh damn, Emoticlones."_

Nightwing crouched behind the rubble pile with Cyborg, shielding Raven from the flying debris as he tore a strip from the chest from his uniform and bound it around her ribs. Her blood coated his hands making them shake as he tried to keep everything together.

"What the hell are Emoticlones?!" he shouted. Cyborg fired off a few rounds of his sonic cannon around the side of their makeshift shield.

"They're projections of different sides of Raven's personality. BB and I found out about them on accident when we got sucked into Rae's head through this mirror portal thing. Long story, fill you in later, just call J'onn and get us out of here!"

Nightwing tossed a smoke bomb over his shoulder and frantically shouted into the com link. "Nightwing to Tower, we are under fire! Repeat, we are under fire with a hero who's bleeding out! Transport us now!" The black pool of blood under Raven was growing at an alarming rate despite the makeshift bandage.

"Standby."

Scooping up his former teammate Nightwing softly placed her in Cyborg's arms and placed the com in the half robot's hand. "They'll fix the signal on the com's tracker. No matter what, get Raven up there, whether I'm with you or not."

Cradling the slim form of their half demon friend in one arm, Cyborg kept shooting. "With me or not?" He exclaimed, his bionic eye blinking rapidly. "The hell you mean man?!" Nightwing glared past his friend's shoulder to where Red X still lay unconscious a few yards behind them.

"I'm getting Duncan. I have too many questions to leave him behind and let him slip back into whatever gutter he crawled out of."

Cyborg looked ready to bust a bolt. "Just let it go man, if I leave you down here with them," He gestured frantically towards the still blasting Emoticlones. "They are going to tear you apart. Let's face it, Raven isn't your biggest fan right now and this is unhinged her TIMES SIX!"

The small device in Cyborg's palm squawked once more with the voice of the Martian Manhunter. "Transmitting now."

Nightwing stole a moment to brush the matted hair from Raven's face and looked at Cyborg with stony eyes. "There's no time to argue, just do what I say."

A small smirk managed to break out on Cyborg's anxious face. "Just like old times. Somethings will never change."

As Nightwing took off running towards the prone form of the man he hated most in this world, a beam of light dissolved Cyborg and Raven just moments before the small rubble pile keeping them safe fell. Grabbing X by the belt of his jumpsuit Nightwing heaved him onto his shoulder and turned to face the Emoticlones.

The one labeled "Intelligence" removed her glasses and cleaned them on her yellow tee shirt, observing Nightwing like a bug under a microscope.

"I suppose I always was right about you, Richard," she called, stepping to the font of the group. "Such a fool. Oh, I don't mean you lack for brains, no… you're quite clever, but that damn sense of honour keeps you from using them." She replaced her glasses with a scoff. "We used to have a sister called Honour," hissed Wrath, the teeth in her grin alarmingly sharp. "She didn't last long I saw to that."

Intelligence silenced her with a hand on her sister's shoulder. "But, it is so strong in you, isn't it? You do what's 'right', not what's smart. It's a pity you should die for something so utterly dim."

Nightwing looked around to see the other Emoticlones stepping towards him, surrounding him like lionesses scenting a sickly antelope. He swallowed hard and braced himself, silently hoping if the blast killed him it would take X out too. That little bit of satisfaction would give him peace.

Intelligence raised her hand glowing with deadly magic of a deceivingly cheery shade. "Did you honestly think that having Cyborg take her up to that satellite would keep us from Raven? Nothing could keep us from Raven for:"

_**WE ARE RAVEN**_

Bracing for a six sided blast, Nightwing suddenly felt himself lifted upwards, his stomach lurching with the sudden movement. In a blink he was pulled from the wreckage of the bookshop and dropped onto the main deck of the Watch Tower. Several techs in matching uniforms swarmed him at once helping him to his feet and pushing various buttons on surrounding control panels.

Changeling pushed his way through the crowd and joined his former leader on the platform. "Ok back off now he's fine, I'll take it from here." Morphing into an Octopus he shooed the techs away with eight tentacled limbs.

"Sorry about that," he said, shifting back. "According to J'onn, you're the first person we've beamed up without a com to lock onto, so all the techs were super excited to see how you turned out. There was a brief bet going that you'd show up with a missing limb or two. And look we even got a bonus prize!" His levity, for all its gusto, still hit many hollow notes. Nightwing could see from his friend's eyes that Changeling had seen Raven before Cyborg had rushed her to the medical bay. He might have changed his name but, Changeling was still Beast Boy deep down and still held all crises at bay with jokes.

The fake smile vanished from his face as Changeling took a closer look at the slumped form Nightwing still had over his shoulder. He pulled away from the body as if he'd been burned. "What? No way, it can't be! Is that Duncan?! What's he doing in your Red X uniform?"

Nightwing strode past his green skinned friend and stepped down from the transport platform. "Because, _apparently,_ he _is_ Red X."

**xXx**

The medics were a blur on the other side of the observation window. Nightwing, Changeling, and Cyborg all stood looking on as Raven was tended by both medicine and magic, each trying their hardest to preserve the thin shell of calm they maintained. The lead doctor had forbidden the trio from entering the room, warning that their presence and volatile emotions might actually hinder her healing process.

"This girl is an empath and you would subject her already weak state to your unstable emotions and possibly cost her her life? She can't cope with such chaos right now. No, a man who has been in this field as long as I have can tell when loved ones will get underfoot," he said sternly ushering them out the door. "And that is the last thing your friend needs right now."

So, instead they watched helpless, as several medics and a hero named Etrigan the Demon fought what seemed to be a losing battle for their friend's life.

"I asked Dr. Fate to go after the clones back on Earth before they can cause too much havoc." Cyborg said offhandedly, eyes never leaving the nightmare in front of him. "Since she's half daemon, her magic is chaos based, and Fate is an agent of Order so… they should give him no trouble. Same reason why I picked Etrigan to go in there with her, his magic is chaos based..." Seemingly too tired to continue his ramblings, Cyborg let himself trail off.

"How could she let herself get hurt like this?" Changeling questioned softly. Nightwing spared a moment's thought to wonder at how strange his friend's voice sounded when he was being serious. "Hardly anything gets through her shields, are you sure this was just a bomb?"

Nightwing rubbed his eyes, his adrenaline beginning to wear off. When he pulled apart the words, he heard the real question in Gar's voice, the question that was on all their minds: Did Duncan try to kill Raven? They would have to wait for an answer, as Duncan was locked in a holding room still out cold.

"From what Victor and I could tell, yes, and it didn't even seem to be meant for her. According to Barty, the shopkeeper, X was only after him and his shop, he wasn't expecting Raven."

Cyborg crossed his arms and scowled. "I'd like to tear that little ginger freak limb from limb. I should've trusted your gut Richard, you told us there was something off about him." Tears trickled from his one good eye as he stared back at Raven's comatose form. "All my big talk of watching out for Rae when she came back and I wasn't there when it mattered. I almost let that maniac kill her!" The metal sill of the window crunched under his robotic grip.

"It's not your fault Victor, I drove her to him. I accused him without proof in a jealous rage and given our past history..." Richard clenched his fist, eyes glued to the steady pulse of Raven's heart monitor screen. "I should have ran background checks, trailed him… _something_. But, I convinced myself that I was being too extreme and that my feelings for Raven were clouding my judgment. Intelligence was right I am an idiot."

One of the many uniformed Watch Tower staff members tapped Cyborg on the shoulder. "Cyborg, Dr. Fate has returned from planet side and has contained the projections in the Magic Containment Ward on floor E. Also the prisoner in room 28741 a," she ruffled through some papers on the clipboard she was holding searching for the name. "'Red X' is awake."

Nightwing spun on his heel already on his way to Duncan's cell. This entire time outside Raven's hospital room he had been powerless to do anything, a state that drove him crazy, but now there was something he could do. A problem he was only too happy to fix.

"Dude where are you going?" Changeling called after him. Cyborg placed a hand on his friend's shoulder holding him back before he could follow Nightwing. Changeling might not have sensed it but Cyborg could tell that whatever Nightwing had in mind it was a daemon he had to face alone.

"You guys help Raven. I'm going to go talk to Duncan."

Cyborg and Changeling watched their friend's retreating back vanish around the corner.

"Something tells me," Changeling said, rubbing the back of his head and shifting from foot to foot, "that is going to be one vicious 'talk'." Cyborg took one last glance at Raven before leaving to deal with the clones.

"We're all at our breaking point Gar, but even this close to snapping Richard still takes it upon himself to save us from the worst of it. He could have taken the easy way out and let us deal with Duncan but instead he sent us off and is dealing with Duncan alone so that we can stay on this side of the line." He sighed and rubbed his face in exhaustion. "I don't know exactly what Richard has in mind for that bastard, and I'm not sure I want to know… in case I feel the need to stop him, but whatever it is it's too good for him."

**xXx**

The room was dimly lit, only a single panel of florescent lights glowed from the middle of the ceiling. Someone had taken the precaution of handcuffing Duncan to his chair, Richard noted, an easily escapable restraint for someone of Red X's caliber. He wondered why Duncan hadn't slipped them yet. The thief had no way of knowing that he was currently floating miles above earth, there was something else keeping him here, pretending to be a good little criminal. Slamming the door behind him Richard watched Duncan's head snap up with a wild look on his face.

"Richard! Where am I? Where's Raven is she ok?!" He was frantically pulling on his bonds like mad man. Nightwing's eyebrow twitched upwards.

"'Richard'? So informal. One would almost thing we were friends. I will say this, you are obviously clever enough to figure out who we all are so bravo. I'm sure that will come as a great comfort when I throw you in the darkest hole I can find and let the world forget about you." Richard reclined against the wall, face masked by shadows. He fought his impulse to go over a snap Duncan's neck as he put on this sickening display of false concern For Raven's safety. No, Richard would take this slow make him pay more than a pound of flesh for what he did to Raven.

"As for Raven, do you mean did you kill her with the bomb you set off?" Richard's lip curled into a snarl, disgusted with the fake wince of guilt Duncan flashed. His kind never had guilt. "No, she's still alive… or you _wouldn't_ be. Of course things can change." He glided from the shadows and seated himself across Duncan in the room's only other chair. "You can drop the act by the way, Duncan, or do you prefer Red X? Both you and I know that you can get out of those cuffs."

A ghost of a smile wavered on Duncan's lips as with a flick of his wrist he tossed the handcuffs into Richard's lap. "I suppose you want to know why I came out of hiding again after so many years and why I was spending so much time with Raven." Duncan gave his wrists a quick rub where the metal restraints had bit into his flesh as he spoke.

Richard pulled a small remote from his belt and pointed it at the security camera in the corner, clicking twice.

"Truthfully I could care less," he replied, replacing the remote and standing. In a blur of movement he crossed the room and backhanded Duncan to the floor, an eerie mirror of that disastrous night at club Silidons. Seeing Duncan trying to roll out of the way and get back on his feet Richard sank his steel toed boot into the man's ribs, he wasn't going to give him any chance to strike back or catch his breath. Richard's movements lacked skill, but he wasn't here to score sparring points with Batman. He was here to make this man pay with every last breath for what he did to Raven.

"You can't do this!" Duncan spat, coughing up blood and trying to drag himself to his feet. "The cameras, everyone will see you."

Richard swung again, his heel shattering Duncan's shinbone before he could stand.

"Those camera's are on a network similar to the Batcave, the beam I just used on the one in this room fries them. We should have five to ten minutes before anyone notices that the signal to this room is out. Would you like to know how industrious I can be in that time?" He knelt over the broken man, gripping him by the flame coloured hair as he crawled away and dragged him back into the light. "You took someone very precious away from me, almost permanently. I don't care your reasons, whatever twisted dogma you use to justify blowing Raven halfway to hell, I already know everything I need to. You're scum and I'm going to enjoy this." He slammed Duncan's face into stone floor, punctuating his words with the crunch of nasal cartilage. "Every. Single. Minute."

Warm blood sprayed upwards, splashing Richard in the face as his fists turned Duncan's already ruined face into an unrecognizable mass. He didn't even pause long enough to wipe it away.

**A/N: One of my shorter chapters but hopefully it was worth the wait anyway. Till next time duckies**


	9. Lacrymosa

**A/N: My goodness it's been a while! Sorry for the long wait but life got in the way for a while. My thanks as always to Xaphrin for her tireless help.**

"I'm just saying, Bruce it's time we thought about it. Most of us aren't immortal and even those of us who are don't want to do this for the rest of our lives." Superman crossed his arms and stared at his back. "Not even you can do this forever."

Batman ignored him, continuing to tap away at the Watch Tower's main control panel, conferencing with Oracle. Superman had gotten used to talking to his friend's back years ago and brushed the dismissal away. This satellite was Bruce's legacy and Superman always found him tinkering away with something any chance he had, never content that the system was good enough. It was often the subject of casual debate amongst the other founding members when Batman actually slept. Smart money was on that he didn't.

"This job isn't a hobby, Clark. A torch to change hands when we get bored. We don't get the luxury of having normal lives anymore than those with normal lives get to have ours. We already come on too strong and you want to talk about increasing that? Amanda Waller is - as we speak - rebuilding Cadmus to the praise of many. After the disaster of Luthor hacking our system and unleashing our weapon's system, the world down there isn't going to see a school they are going to see a training base for an army. What's to say they would be wrong?"

Superman poured himself another cup of coffee from a nearby pot and breathed in the steam. He didn't really need the caffeine, it actually had no affect on his system, but as Bruce had often pointed out it was one of his little "pretending to be human" habits. Something he did on reflex and without purpose.

"You've been listening to the Question again Bruce. All he ever talks about anymore is a superhero arms race and rants about Armageddon to anyone who will listen, he cornered Diana the other day. We're not talking about an army and anyone with any sense will see that. The other founders and I think that with there being more people being born with the meta gene everyday there has to be some sort of programme, and I'm sure once we explain that the rest of the world will agree. These kids are going to need mentorship. With a guiding hand we could prevent most of them from becoming criminals, maybe even wipe out super-powered villains completely within a few generations. Even those without powers but have potential need it to be shaped by those who have been there. Look at Jason, no powers but a next generation hero because you took him in. Not to mention the wonder you did with Richard, that man was born to be a hero."

Batman turned and contemplated the screen behind Superman's head, his scowl deepening. This for the average person would be an impossible feat but Bruce had levels upon levels of scowl. "You've had two protégés with great success, Richard even led his own team, what's wrong with taking that to a larger scale?"

The cowled crusader stared past him. "Do you see that?" he asked pointing to the screen. Superman poured sugar into his coffee smiling slightly.

"Oh no, I'm not falling for that again. This is the part where I turn away and you slink off avoiding the conversation. I have super-hearing and even I can't figure out how you do that."

Batman snatched the sugar from him and slammed it down on the consol. "Dammit, Clark, look at the screen, the video link where Nightwing is just went out!"

"Oh s-sugar." Even all these years fighting crime, Superman still couldn't bring himself to curse.

**xXx**

Batman stormed down the hall, files sent from Oracle to the Tower's computer flickering through his mind.

Facial recognition on the mysterious man Richard had brought onboard had turned up two very different things. One was a file for a Duncan Clancy, an average citizen living a quiet life under an identity only five years old. The other was for Ryan Mathuin who was quite another story. Ryan was listed as having a high IQ, coupled with a yard long rap sheet for everything from petty theft to assault, all dated before his thirteenth birthday. He had been shipped back and forth between juvenile detention and the Gotham City Orphanage till his fateful thirteenth year when he dropped off the radar completely.

Batman been able to piece together some of the missing years from the Teen Titan's Red X file but it was still very little to go on. A momentary thought flickered through the Dark Knight's mind, such potential left to spoil in a boys' home. _That easily could have been Richard or Jason had I not been there. Maybe Clark is right._ But, what troubled Bruce more than the eerie mirror this Ryan was to Nightwing, was what else the computer had revealed. During Ryan's time as Red X the one thing that stood out was that he worked alone, no alliances or partners whatsoever, but right before he donned the Duncan persona Ryan was seen in the company of one man, a man who was Batman's own mirror. Something had drastically changed for Ryan right before he became Duncan, and Batman doubted it was a change for the better. There were too many coquincidences and that sat wrong with him.

Nightwing's mentor broke down the door with a broad shoulder and took in the gory scene before him. His son's uniform was smeared with blood to the elbow, the knuckles of his gloves torn through. Richard barely glanced up as Batman entered, his back against the opposite wall from where Bruce stood, face unreadable. At his feet a lump of pulpy flesh wheezed thickly, each breath rattling its whole form.

"Richard, what have you done?" Bruce knelt next to the rasping Red X trying to find the best way to carry the mess of a man to the medics without making his injuries worse. Normally he would have simply signaled a doctor using the com link but he couldn't let anyone see Nightwing, not like this. Even now with so many lines crossed he had to protect his son.

"I wanted to kill him, Batman." Richard whispered, his voice deathly soft. "There was this moment, a small breath where I saw the light leaving his eyes and I could have snuffed it out. Just reached out my hand and make it vanish forever. It would have been so easy." Nightwing slinked from the wall and stared down at Duncan's ruined face with calm disdain. "But that's what stopped me, it was too easy. Killing him, letting him stop suffering was too easy, too good for him. In that moment I no longer wanted him to die I wanted him alive and suffering to the end of his very long life."

The calculating look in Nightwing's eyes worried Bruce, the man before him was empty of any emotion, good or ill. It was like Richard had felt so much that something broke loose in him and he could feel no more.

"That...was...your...mistake..." Red X's voice hissed out, labouring around split lips and a broken jaw. Anger flickered in Nightwing's eyes suddenly and Batman moved between them. Duncan/Ryan might not escape with his life twice.

"Do you really think Raven will have anything to do with you after she sees what you've done?" Red X continued, blood bubbling onto his chin. "You just gave me everything I need to make sure she never speaks to you again. I'll show her the monster you really are, rip you from that polished pedestal they all put you on, and drag you down into the mud with the rest of us. Should've killed me when you had the chance, before your Daddy got here. You lose, Dick."

Bruce knelt down beside the broken man. "Be silent." He growled. Bruce could see how close Richard was to snapping again at the mention of the half-daemon girl's name and couldn't risk fighting his pupil while this man bled to death on the floor. If Red X died there would be no redeeming Richard as a hero. Red X regarded Batman with his one good eye and laughed.

"Or what? You're even less likely to kill me than bird boy over there."

Batman leaned in close, the full menace of his presence bearing down on Red X. "You are right, I don't kill, but negligence isn't murder. I can and will easily walk out of here and take Nightwing with me leaving you to slowly drown in your own blood," he lied. "Now, be quiet and don't give me an excuse."

A bit more roughly than he should have, Batman lifted Duncan/Ryan and regarded Nightwing with stern eyes. "Clean this up and have J'onn transport you back to the Cave, you are banned from the Tower till further notice. I will deal with this and then you and I need to have a very long talk." With that he was gone, taking Red X to the medical wing and leaving Nightwing standing in the room's gory ruins.

**xXx**

Cyborg and Changeling regarded the six holding tubes in front of them containing the multi-hued Ravens. Dr. Fate had secured each of the Ravens inside individual cells and assured them that they were held in the perfect prisons.

"The forms appear to be psychic projections," he told Cyborg and Changeling before letting them into the room. "But, they are growing more solid by the minute. They seem to be feeding off of your friend's energy and will soon possess physical bodies and be truly alive. Should this happen they will become much more dangerous and I am unsure if the process would be reversible."

The two former Titans exchanged worried looks.

"Never fear," Fate added. "The cells will hold even if they reach that point. The glass has every enchantment known and has been tested by all at the League with magical properties. I also have every confidence that my colleges will wake your friend before the worst can happen." With that, he left them to observe the manifestations of Raven's personality. Whatever spell Dr. Fate had used to capture them had apparently knocked them unconscious, **because they were all** sleeping peacefully in their pods.

"Kind of creepy seeing Raven locked up like this, Cy." Changeling whispered, staring up at the pink clad projection floating gently in place. "I know it's not really her, my brain does anyway, but all I see is our friend, a member of our family, in a test tube."

Cyborg placed a mechanical arm around his green skinned friend. "I know BB. What's hard for me is seeing so much proof that Rae was suffering and she didn't come to us for help. I mean, why'd she let herself get this bad? She's always had such amazing control, especially now that Trigon is gone. I only hope Etrigan and Zantanna can wake her soon these clones are starting to look too real for comfort."

Changeling's eyes narrowed into rare slits of rage. "All I know is that Rae never had this much trouble before that Duncan/Red X jerk wormed his way into her life. He must have done something to her, unhinged her somehow."

"Whatever he's done," Cyborg murmured as a medical emergency warning from the Tower's system flickered across his sensors. "Nightwing made sure he paid for it."

**xXx**

A too-bright smear of crimson trailed across the pristine white floor. Duncan took a deep, agonizing breath and dragged himself forward another painful inch. He was almost positive he had popped more than a couple of his stitches, the bloody path behind him almost guaranteed it, but his entire body was such a continuous stab of pain that any re-opened wounds were lost in the sea of agony. The medics had given him just enough morphine to keep him from passing out every time he took a breath but refused to put him under completely for fear he wouldn't wake up again.

_Pity Nightwing hadn't been there when they had made that call_, Duncan thought bitterly as he braced himself to move again, _he would have insisted they give it a try hoping for the off chance it would kill me_. _Probably for the best if it did, seeing how I may be a cripple the rest of my life._

The staff had made many mistakes leaving him conscious and unguarded. The first was not securing him to the bed.

"After all," they reasoned, "who would be mad enough to try to move in this condition?"

The second was that they had let him share a ward with Raven. Granted she was down the hall, practically the other side of the world in his state, but Duncan was nothing if not determined. Even if he bled out before he reached her he still had to try, Duncan had to see her.

It had been a waking nightmare seeing Raven come into that bookstore, Duncan had hoped to keep his Red X persona from her, reasoning that this one last job didn't change five years of walking the straight and narrow. _Especially since it was a job to keep her safe, then that practically made it a good deed right?_ He had reasoned to himself. But even so, Duncan knew Raven would only see the means not the end. The plan had been so simple, steal the book and trade it to That Man for Raven's life, maybe rough up the gnome a little if he resisted.

Then, like a cruel joke from god, his hollow threat against that little lump of a shopkeeper had blown away the very girl Duncan was trying to protect. Raven had taken the worst of the blast, her hero roots reflexively concentrating her shields on himself and the gnome leaving little protection for herself. It had been this same sort of selflessness, even for criminals like himself, that had first made Duncan sit up and take notice of the pale skinned girl with lavender hair. Back before he ever dreamed up "Duncan" and his life.

He pushed the swinging door to her room open with his shoulder and dragged himself inside. Forcing himself to look up Duncan took in Raven's pale form, heavily bandaged, floating above her bed. Thankfully they seemed to be alone, the medics no doubt off trying to find some answer to fixing her broken soul as well as her body. A few more painstaking feet, covered inch by agonizing inch, and he was at her bedside. Hauling himself up by the metal frame Duncan kneeled on broken knees and took Raven's hand, the pain keeping him conscious.

"Raven," he whispered, his voice harsh in the room's sterile silence. "I don't know if you can hear me, I don't know if you will even want to after what I have to say but I am so _so_ sorry." Tears burned salted tracks down Duncan's mangled face as he clutched her hand tighter. "I never meant for any of this to happen… I thought I had left that life behind but then He caught up with me." Duncan roughly wiped his tears away, eyes momentarily stony as he thought of That Man. "It was you who made me wish to be Duncan, did you know that, Raven? Because of you I started wanting more out of life than to be Red X and a thief."

His calloused thumb brushed the soft skin of her hand. "Someday I'll tell you the whole story, no more lies, I promise, but first you have to wake up." Duncan rested his forehead against the bed's edge, his voice dropping to a whispered prayer. "Raven, please wake up." Beneath his head the bed began to vibrate and Raven's hand shook in his. Lifting his face Duncan saw Raven's eyes shoot open and roll back into her skull.

"Raven?!" Magic black and thick as tar oozed from beneath Raven's cloak and rolled around Duncan like a fog. Wrapping around his ribs it pulled him from his knees and dragged him into its dark depths, his feeble screams and struggles going unnoticed. As the last part of Duncan vanished, Raven's heart monitor screamed to life, its alarm signaling she was going into cardiac arrest. Medics led by Zantanna streamed into the room clamoring to stop the young hero's latest brush with death. As they restrained her thrashing limbs and steadied her erratic heartbeat none of them noticed the small pool of blood left by a missing body.


	10. Where Is My Mind?

Cyborg stared at the pods as Changeling morphed into a dog and curled up beside him. There had been no change in the forms held within the glass prisons except for their steadily growing more solid, they still remained asleep. He hated feeling so helpless. For the first time he found himself up against an enemy he could neither face nor name, and for someone like Victor who always welcomed fights head on this drove him mad. He couldn't help Raven, couldn't make her better. There was no villain to hunt down no mission to plan, everything was happening inside his friend's head and all he could do was watch the Emoticlones and wait.

"Will Cyborg and Changeling please report to the Medical Bay immediately. I repeat: Cyborg and Changeling to the Medical Bay." Zantanna's panic rang clear as a bell over the intercom. As the last echo of her voice faded away six pairs of identical eyes snapped open and the projections spoke as one.

**SHE IS AWAKE.**

Changeling in cheetah form raced at Cyborg's side to Raven's hospital room worst case scenarios spinning through his mind, his wild imagination fed by the ominous tone with which the Emoticlones had spoken. Even with horrors he had managed to invent nothing could have prepared him for this.

Most of the medical staff had barricaded themselves in the observation room their pale faces staring out from behind the glass at the few left behind. The medical bay itself was littered with fallen bodies scattered about like rag dolls. In the very center, like a vengeful goddess, Raven hung suspended in mid-air as various pieces of medical equipment spun around her, mini planets orbiting a dark sun, occasionally smashing into one another with small explosions. Her thin face was almost beast-like as she screamed a continuous stream of words neither Cyborg nor Changeling understood. Throwing open the door to the observation room, Changeling and Cyborg found Zantanna frantically flipping through several ancient looking books and chanting hurriedly under her breath.

"What's happened?" Changeling demanded, shifting back to his humanoid form. "What did you guys do to Raven?!"

Zantanna spun to face them, gripping her books like a shield. "We don't know what's happened." her eyes were wide with panic and she chewed her lip nervously. "She went into cardiac arrest and after a struggle we managed to revive her. When she woke up we thought for a moment that she had healed herself but then a psychic blast took out some of the staff and none of us have been able to get near her since. We don't think she killed the ones still in there, but there's no way to tell. Her powers are quite honestly completely out of control. I-I've tried everything I can think of to stop her before she hurts herself but they all seem to just bounce right off. The only thing I managed to successfully use is a translator spell so we can at least understand what she is saying. I hoped it might tell us something, a way to help her, but none of it makes any sense. Listen for yourselves." Lightly tapping their glamour bracelets to add the spell, Cyborg and Changeling's eyes went as wide as Zantanna's as the now crystal clear translated words bored into their skulls.

_**"...with wings of void Death's favourite son comes barring sharpest tongue and tender claw pouring honeyed poison. O children of Lyssa and Maniae as one cry out in woe, how well thee art heeded. Trice cursed cursed cursed bare ye all thy sin as highest praise..."**_

Changeling and Cyborg flung the bracelets from themselves and clapped their hands to their ears. Raven's words were like knives hacking away inside their heads the pain making them unable to keep listening.

"Isn't there something you can do?" Gar asked Zantanna a slight whimper in his voice. "She sounds in pain! Like, like something is tearing at her from the inside."

Zantanna shook her head sadly. "The only thing I recognize are the names Lyssa and Maniae. They're from Greek Mythology, personifications of madness, but other than that I can't say. I feel that it only makes sense to Raven, or at least the part of her that's in control now."

Cyborg's com screen chirped, Dr Fate's face flashing into view amid technicoloured flashes and explosions. "Cyborg the Clones are becoming unmanageable I seem unable to return them to sleep and they are getting more frenzied by the second. The tubes seem to be holding for now but something has disturbed them. Except for one, the Gray. She seems strangely out of sync with the others. She's been begging me to ask for you and Changeling."

Without a word Changeling shifted back to his cheetah form and nodded to Victor. "Gar and I are on our way, Fate."

**xXx**

The sterile room was a cacophony of colour and sound. Gar and Victor stared about in horror as five of the Clones screamed in a multitude of tongues and thrashed against their glass prisons. The Yellow one, Intelligence, seemed the most panicked. She beat her fists against her temples crying _It's impossible! Impossible!_ with every strained breath. Next to her Wrath was the picture of gleeful madness, leering wickedly out at them as she clawed at her own skin spouting sinister sounding latin proclamations. A small pool of black blood congealed at the bottom of her pod. Love, Happy, and Brave were likewise manic caricatures of themselves. Purple clothed Love lewdly snaked herself against the glass, calling out to Gar in French while Brave smashed her fists on unyielding glass in time to Germanic threats and Happy manically twirled about, dancing and singing to music only she could hear.

_**"... and we all fall down"**_

Only the timid Gray, Shy, sat calmly in her pod, her chin resting on her knees as she watched them with despairing eyes.

"I can see Dr. Fate called you, for all the good it will do," she called out, her melancholy voice barely carrying over the other Clones'.

Cyborg's robotic eye flickered frantically as he surveyed the wreckage, hardly knowing where to look first. "What's happened? Why are they all like this and why aren't you affected?!"

"Yea!" Changeling chimed in, suspicious in the face of a daunting situation he couldn't understand. "How do we know this isn't all an act and you asked for us to make us go all crazy too!"

Shy hunched her shoulders as if physically wounded by Gar's accusation. "I knew I couldn't make you believe me, I'm not clever like Intelligence." Anxiety was etched on her face. "And it's so important too. I knew I'd mess everything up." She dissolved into gloomy mutterings, the former Titans managed to catch the words "hopeless" and "useless" being repeated every so often.

Victor held up his hand cutting off Shy's customary self deprecation. He remembered how negative she could be from the time that he and Gar had taken that accidental trip into Raven's mind and had learned that when it came to Shy you had to read between the lines.

"Woa hold up. What's important?"

Shy nervously fidgeted with the hair hanging in her face before answering. "You won't like me when I tell you, you'll get mad."

"Come on, dude!" Gar snapped, waving his arms in frustration. "Didn't we prove before in Raven's head that we won't hate you when bad stuff you can't control happens? Just spit it out."

The Gray Emoticlone shuffled her feet and looked down at her boots. "Red X is inside Raven's mind."

She winced as Victor's and Gar's vehement curses rose over the already loud commotion. Wrath seemed to quite enjoy their suggestions that Duncan knew someone's mother quite well and his own mother was of canine origins.

"How the hell did he get in there?!" Victor demanded once he had exhausted his repertoire of damnations, slamming his fist against Shy's pod making her shrink back. "Her mirror is nowhere near here and Raven was in no state to do it herself!"

Shy looked close to tears and seemed to be mouthing _I told you you'd hate me_ over and over again. Gar saw their only chance to help Raven slipping away and stepped between Cyborg and the glass.

"Shy," he said softly, mentally entreating for her to remain focused. "Please, tell us everything." Shy fidgeted and avoided their eyes for so long Victor thought for sure that they'd never get another word out of her until finally she spoke.

"It was Wrath who first said we ought to escape. She said she was sick of Raven using us whenever she couldn't manage on her own and being the puppet of what she called 'such a weak Host'. But it was really Intelligence who was pulling the strings, she does that you know. I guess she'd always been tired of Raven pulling power from emotional reactions to problems instead of logic, but what happened between her and Richard seemed to be the last straw. It was then that Intelligence started to whisper in Wrath's ear. Raven was such an internal wreck when Nightwing rejected her that Intelligence was overshadowed, mostly by Wrath and Love, and she couldn't stand it."

Her eyes flitted between them, making her look even more like a caged, wounded animal. "Intelligence is the only one of us that differs in that way, she feeds off of the rational parts of Raven. The rest of us get stronger when our emotion is at the forefront of Raven's mind, and as an empath, Raven can get very emotional, so logic is often put aside."

Changeling rubbed the back of his head, deep in thought. The Raven that Shy was describing sounded nothing like the one he and the rest of the team knew. When the rest of them had flown off the handle in one emotional direction or the other, Raven was always the steady eye of their storms. For someone so constant and stable it was hard to picture the internal struggles Shy was describing.

"But Raven's always been so calm," he said as Cyborg nodded in agreement. "I've hardly ever seen her be anything close to emotionally impulsive. We always thought of her as the most well, I would say _logical, _of the group."

"Even after the disaster of her relationship with Nightwing," Cyborg added. "We all suspected what had happened, but Raven was completely stoic about the whole thing."

Shy morosely shook her head. "I said we get stronger, I didn't say we win. One of us might be the loudest voice in Raven's head at any given time and she might pull power from that, but that doesn't mean she ever gives us free reign. That's how Wrath convinced the others. All of us, even good for nothing me, want nothing more, exists for nothing more than for Raven to become us, to let us be free. Wrath claimed that if we all escaped we could have that freedom and never struggle against Raven's will again. Brave and Love both agreed right away but Happy and I were unsure. Happy because she feared the sadness it might cause Raven, and me because I'm so… _timid_. The two of us managed to resist the others till Raven and Nightwing fought outside Silidons."

She let out a slow breath, limbs shaking with the memory as she pulled her legs tighter to her chest. "Wrath was so strong that night, feeding off all the hurt Raven felt that she seized the moment and put Love, Brave, Happy and I under her control. Only Intelligence was immune, being so different from the rest of us. So, while Wrath controlled us, she controlled Wrath. They began forcing us through Raven's mental cracks, slowly making us more real to Raven, and thus more real to the world until the heavy injuries she received from the bomb blast gave them the chance they needed. She was momentarily weak and we broke through, starting to become solid as Raven's mind and soul grew weaker. But, Intelligence for all her planning, underestimated Raven's ability to survive. At some point Raven's soul came in contact with another's and resonated."

Gar glanced at Victor to see if he understood anymore than himself. Seeing a similar blank expression to his own, he asked "Resonated?"

Shy nodded slowly. "Meaning it latched on and absorbed the other soul, desperately trying to keep Raven alive. However, because this soul doesn't belong, its causing unrest, the ripples of which made the others." She gestured towards the rest of her sister Clones. "Snap."

Victor crossed his arms the still flesh half of his forehead creased in thought "But why not you?"

The Gray clone shrugged her hunched shoulders. "My emotion must not be one that Raven's subconscious associates with Red X. I don't really get it myself. I'm not..."

"Clever like Intelligence, dude we get it." said Gar, waving away Shy's self esteem issues away with a dismissive hand. "What will happen if Duncan's soul stays inside Raven's?"

Shy's gaze once more dropped to her boots, her arms hugging her knees tighter. Cyborg spared a moments thought on how it looked like the Clone was desperately trying to curl into herself and disappear. "It'll kill her and end any chance you have of locking us back inside Raven's mind," she whispered.

Stoney silence filled the room as her soft words sank into the very depths of Victor and Gar's hearts. Death on the battlefield was not a concept unknown to the pair. Every hero both new and veteran knew that each fight could be their last, but to think of Raven just simply fading away in a hospital bed like sand through and hourglass seemed more tragic somehow. Cyborg was the first to shake off the despair. There may not be a discernible villain but at least there was finally a definable goal, a mission to plan. He was back in his element. "What can we do?"

"You need to send me back through her meditation mirror. It probably won't work because it's me… but maybe I can help stabilize her enough to release Duncan's soul. Maybe even make the other Clones return."

Cyborg punched in a code on the keypad of Shy's prison cell and stood back as the glass slid upwards with a hiss. "Done."

Changeling helped Shy down from the pod's pedestal, hoping that maybe a little kindness would give her the boost she needed to save Raven. "You know, you're pretty brave for being Shy."

The Clone blushed.


End file.
